Adore You - Jack Mercer

- Chapter Nineteen: Hopeful -

The wheels squeaked as Bobby pushed the wheelchair along. His calloused hands, though steady and strong, anxiously gripped the handles with paling knuckles. His heart raced and his nerves were rattled at the thought of seeing his younger brother in a hospital bed once more. It left him with a deep and heavy pit in his stomach, uneasy with the thought of Jack hooked up to various life supporting machines.

Guilt was eating away at him with every second passed. It was overwhelming.

"Wait," Avery rather suddenly uttered in a panic while her hands snapped out and halted the wheels unexpectedly.

Bobby frowned, his creased brows dipping further as he flicked his gaze down to her. "Ace, we don't-"

"I want to see him," she firmly tells him with a determined expression as she stares at the heavy wooden door opposite them; the door to Jack's room. "I just... I need a minute to prepare." she breathes out with wringing hands.

"Take all the time you need," Carter told her as he stood to Bobby's right, watching the pair with concern and empathy.

Avery nodded gratefully with a heaviness in her heart. She was terrified, petrified even. She couldn't bear the thought of seeing Jack so weak and injured; it tore her up from the inside out. What if seeing him in that hospital bed, hooked up to all those machines broke her? What if she lost her composure and hope for him to pull through and live out a long and happy life with her?

What if he died?

No. She shook her head at her own train of thought, clenching her eyes shut tightly, along with her jaw. Her trembling hands tightened around the wheels, desperately trying to will away that darkness that lingered within, threatening to consume her heart and mind.

She wanted to be strong for Jack and Bobby. To be positive and hold on to that flame of hope within herself but then that darkness would slip a single devastating thought in her head and that flame would dim with a flicker.

"Ace?" she hears Bobby's gentle voice, it's closer than before with his warm breath now fanning the side of her face and his calloused hand resting atop her own. She can feel his intense gaze on the side of her face, studying her expression with worry and concern.

She hates it.

"I'm okay," she lies whilst peeling open her eyes and loosening her hold on the wheels. She breathes in deeply and turns her head to look him in the eye with a smile she was barely able to muster up for him. "And I'm ready to go in," she informs him before turning her gaze back onto the heavy door separating them and her Jack.

"You don't have to do this," Bobby reminds her gently, wanting to be supportive and offering her an understandable out if needed.

However, as he had already predicted, Avery shook her head defiantly. "I want to. I need to." she mumbles, "he needs me."

Bobby's lips tilt up at the corners as he nods and with a single pat on her hand, he pulled himself to a stand and took his place behind the wheelchair once more. His hands rested on the handles while he motioned silently for Carter to open the heavy door for them, which thankfully without complaint the kind doctor did.

"Okay," Carter breathes out as he walks to the door and with an open palm pressed against the wooden surface, pushes it open.

The door creaks open smoothly and the moment it does, a familiar steady beat echoes out. Avery tenses, recognising it as Jack's heartbeat through the machine. She holds her breath as Bobby slowly pushes her through the open doorway and into the small private room Jack lay within.

It takes seconds but for Avery if felt like hours. Everything was almost in slow motion and distant to her. Though the moment her eyes found her love lay on the hospital bed in a nightgown, everything pulled into focus and her green eyes welled with tears.

"Jack..." she murmurs whilst bringing her hand up to her mouth to muffle the cry that followed it.

She couldn't stand to see him lay so still, it left her with a feeling she couldn't describe swirling in her stomach. He looked hauntingly on the brink of death with his sickly pale skin, the dark brown circles around his eyes and his sunken in cheeks. His arms and hands are bruised and pierced with various tubes attached to various machines. His face, though still handsome and familiar, was also bruised and lifeless looking.

Yet he still looked like her Jack.

So, with a shaky breath, Avery looked up to Bobby, pleading silently for him to push her closer to his brothers side so she could touch and hold his hand. "Okay," Bobby smiled as he forced back his own heavy emotions and the lump in his throat before slowly pushing her once more towards his brother.

"He looks so... peaceful." Avery observed in a whisper as her brows creased and her hand tentatively reached out to run her fingertips over his hand, feeling the smooth cold skin beneath them. Then, once she builds enough courage, she leans forward, curling her fingers around his hand, holding it in her own lovingly. "He's so cold," she frowns.

"That's pretty normal," Carter reassures.

"Let's give Ace a minute with him alone." Bobby suggests with a nodding gesture towards the door. "Come on, doc." he leads the way, walking towards the door and pulling it open. Then, with a forced smile, he motions for Carter to go out first before following him and sending Avery a final reassuring smile. "I'll be outside," he reminds her.

"Okay. Thanks Bobby."

Avery smiles and turns to Jack, never loosening her hold on his hand, even when she feels her emotions rising up and warm tears falling down her rosy cheeks. Instead, she dips her head down, pressing her head to his hand and sighing shakily in thought.

"I don't know if you can even hear me right now but..." she breathes, "please don't leave me. I can't do this without you; I won't. You're my future, Jack. You always were. I can't lose you, I won't survive it. Please come back to me. Please baby. We have so much love to share, so much life to live together. Please," her heart breaks and so, without holding back, she sobs loudly; releasing all her pain into the room and air around them.

She shook her head as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks no matter how many times she wiped away at them. She just wanted him to wake up and hold her. To shower him in her unconditional love and remind him of all the things they still had yet to experience together. She just wanted her Jack back.

"A-Avery..."

Her head snaps up, staring wide eyed at Jack. Had she been imagining things? Had she convinced herself she heard him say her name because she wanted him to so badly? Was she going crazy? Maybe...

"Don't be stupid," she chastised herself, shaking her head angrily.

But then, just as quiet and as soft as before, she heard him say her name and the moment he did, she screamed the only person she knew would believe her.

"Bobby!!"

*****
I'm sorry if this sucks.
It's been a while.

Trying to get back into my groove with writing.
Please let me know your thoughts, thanks :)