learning about love

Part 8

Raising children is exhausting.

It wasn't something that Kim Rok Soo would ever complain about with any seriousness. He was grateful for his family and he loved his children. He wasn't the sort of person to quit merely because a task was tiring ro difficult.

And his children were far more rewarding than they were exhausting. They were wonderful children who hardly even complained, which actually made Kim Rok Soo anxious, he felt that they ought to feel comfortable to complain a bit more. He'd be happy to see them become bratty, if only it meant they were being spoiled.

None of this changed the simple facts that raising children is exhausting. Being the single parent of three energetic and traumatized children wasn't just exhausting, it drained out all the energy an individual had and focused it onto the singular task. Sometimes with diminishing returns. It was challenging and difficult and any parent would feel the weight of it.

Kim Rok Soo wasn't alone though. There was Raon's godmother, who would happily take any excuse to babysit as she loved the children. There was Eruhaben, the unrelated old man who had taken it upon himself to practically adopt the trio as his grandchildren. There were all of Kim Rok Soo's friends who were more than willing to help share the weight with him so that the children could never want for anything.

Kim Rok Soo wasn't so selfless as to not utilize his every advantage in the exhausting task of childrearing. Any pride he might have had was swallowed and discarded in the name of giving On, Hong, and Raon the best possible childhood he could manage.

Even still, even with the proverbial village that it takes to raise children, Kim Rok Soo never realized exactly how exhausting it was.

Maybe it was because he was happy doing anything he could for the kids but Kim Rok Soo had never had a moment to realize just how tiring it all was.

Until Choi Han.

One outing with the children turned into a second one and then the children were inviting Choi Han over and within a few weeks, Choi Han probably spent more time helping out at Kim Rok Soo's apartment than he was home.

Kim Rok Soo didn't feel the weight of being a single parent until it was lifted unexpectedly from his shoulders and it started to feel like he was actually co-parenting.

"...you really don't have to spend so much time here." Kim Rok Soo chastised, not for the first time, as he chopped the vegetables for dinner.

Choi Han looked up from where he was happily setting the table and smiled at him with that large innocent smile that just wasn't fair. "I want to."

"Haaaa... suit yourself." Kim Rok Soo let out a long suffering smile but the careful observer could see the way his lip twitched upwards and his general demeanor softened.

Choi Han was a careful observer.

Kim Rok Soo did this, from time to time, checking in as though to give Choi Han an out. Choi Han couldn't say whether it was out of insecurity or if Kim Rok Soo just enjoyed hearing him say it, but he always looked much more comfortable after he was reassured that Choi Han wasn't being coerced to be here against his will.

It was cute.

There were a lot of things about Kim Rok Soo that were unexpectedly cute.

When Choi Han had first fallen head over feet for the enigmatic single father, he'd thought that Kim Rok Soo was cool. And he was right, there were very few people who were as cool as Kim Rok Soo.

He spent his professional life rescuing those in need, he was well-respected for his skills within his field, he was patient and stern, he was a wonderful father, and he never seemed to take a break for himself despite claiming to be lazy at heart.