Love For Never

Eaten By Guilt

No i think to myself. Its Monday morning i put the usual attire on, dark skinny jeans a black fitted tee and my black boots.

By the time i get to school i feel sick, i contemplate whether i should go in or just ditch. I decide to go in. Lea will be there she wont let anything bad happen. I suddenly remember that Luke is in my first period art class, and Lea or any of my other friends wont be there.

I get to art and sit by myself at my usual table. Only another 40 minutes to go. Luke comes up to the table. Go past dont talk to me please i silently beg him. "So how is the whore?" I ignore him and try to act like i never heard him. "how many other guys did you try to take at the party?" "Go away" I say in my most threatening voice. How did i ever like him. "Bye" he said in his most condescending voice.

I wanted to kill myself then and there i dont care how many people were in there.

Lunch is somewhat better. At least i have Lea, Ander, Ally and Ben. I know that i have to find a way to make him leave me alone.

Then i have an idea, i can threaten to show the whole school the time he cried. Then i will have the upper hand.

In ninth period spanish he comes over to me and this time i am ready. "Unless you leave me alone i will show the whole school" i say in my coldest voice. He knows exactly what i mean so he leaves, but not before he spits a string of words i will not repeat in my direction.

The rest of the afternoon is good.

I get a text from Lea at nine telling me to go to her house immediatly.

Im there within ten minutes. She drags me to her car leaving mine on the side of the road. I am really starting to worry. "What is this about?" i ask needing to know.

"I just found out from Ander that Luke has had depression for a while now." she says with a grim face. "What happened?" i ask my voice going higher.

She says nothing and drives for five more minutes where there is an ambulance and two cop cars. I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I know where we are.

"He attempted suicide." Lea stated simply. Even though she hated Luke she still had a look of pity on her face.

"How?" i dared to ask.

"He tried to strangle himself." i try to hide the gasp that escaped me.

"Why?" Even though i was extremely mad at him for what happened earlier, i feel so bad.

"That video of him got out, and with his depression it made it that much worse."

"It wasnt me." i had told her about the threat i gave him earlier.

"I know. You only give empty threats." i feel so bad anyway.

I know i have to tell him that it wasnt me, not that he will ever believe me.

I get home after the long night and go straight up to my room planning how i am going to go visit him, and tell him that i didnt post the video.