Short Stories

Babyboy Extra 2

I held Tyrells hand and stared in his eyes. I could tell he was getting bored and mad but he was trying for me. He looked cute with a pout and a distracted glare.

"God damn Bassir, how much longer do we gotta sit like this. My legs cramping." He pouted.

"It's to help us Babyboy come on."

"It's helping me get a fucking boner. Yo dick been poking me for like thirty minutes." He said. I laughed and let go of his hands.

"Alright let's sit up and switch positions." I suggested. Tyrell slowly stood from his spot and this time I led us to the chair we have in our room. I sat down first then let Tyrell come and straddle my lap.

"We still looking into each other eyes?" He whispered. I nodded. This position is much more intimate. "Why don't you trust me?" He asked softly.

"It's not that I don't trust you, I do. Maybe it's something to do with my own self worth. I don't understand how you, a loud mouthed, used to be a wild drug dealer could settle for the life I've given you. I'm scared that one day I might bore you and you'd leave because who wants to be with me. I'm calm and I've never been crazy. I think that what you really want is a phone full of women instead of just me." I confessed.

"Bassir if I wanted bitches I would have them. You didn't give me this life, I chose it. I chose being with you and having five kids. I chose the life of a husband not a bachelor and I love it. I don't want anything else but this. I asked to marry you Nigga, why would I leave? This is forever Bassir, I'm never going to leave you, I don't know who I'll be without you." He grabbed my cheeks.

"Even if I'm boring."

"Nigga your not boring. You sucked my dick in a restaurant once. Last month we had sex in the movie theater. Your always finding stupid shit for us to do, like that time we went on that couples trip and got lost. I'm never bored with you Bassir." He sighed. "Sometimes I wonder why you'd want to stay with me. I know I'm not as smart as you. I never understand when you get to talking that smart shit. I'm a mess most of the time and some days I never have time for you or our kids. I sometimes feel average compared to you. You're literally like Superman to me and I'm like Garfield or some shit."

"But I like all that about you. When you talk about your company I often get confused but I like that you know about that stuff. And yeah you're extremely busy but you make time. You make sure you're home every night saying goodnight and tucking them in bed. I'm not Superman, trust me." I gave him a soft smile. "I'm going to work on it. Hearing you say you'll never leave is helping."

"Then imma say that shit everyday." Tyrell kissed me.

*~*~*

I glanced to my side then broke out into a smile. Tyrell had his eyes closed with a calm expression. He was sitting with his legs crossed.

"Bassir, I can feel your energy, it's not calm." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry Babyboy." I grinned. I sighed and stilled my heart. We sat in silence for thirty minutes meditating together.

In an attempt to help me start to trust him. We've been doing activities that bring us closer together. Meditation is a good way for us to both calm down and get into our thoughts. He has something planned for us later that involves cooking.

I know I've been a bad husband for not trusting him. It's not that I don't believe in him, I don't believe in myself. I know I'm handsome and anybody would love to have me as a partner but Tyrell wasn't gay when I met him nor was he the settle down type.

My head jumps to dumbass conclusions because I know he'd never leave me but for some reason I just can't stop thinking about his past. Yes, it's been 15 years and we have five kids and we've seen the world together but some days I still feel like that guy who got stuck in a room with him. The guy who patched him up when he was shot. I don't feel like the guy who has grown a household with him or the guy who kisses him right before he falls asleep.