Surviving Summer One-Shots

Anxious

Summary: Abbie doesn't interrupt Thommo and Ari's conversation in episode 8 and Ari tells him everything.

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Ari wakes up suddenly, his breathing heavy.

He checks his phone: 6:00. He should really go out for a surf, train for Jarrah Island. But he's just too tired.

Tired of surfing, tired of being anxious all the time, tired of everyone talking about Stairway like last year never happened. Being up on the rocks that morning, seeing Marlon and the rest of Anchor Cove made it all come back.

And now he couldn't sleep.

He turns on his lamp, his eyes catching on the pillow. It's wet - probably from when he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't stop the tears falling. He'd never do that outside his room though.

Although Summer's nagging about telling someone had been playing on his mind for days. If he does, he'll have to deal with his parents constantly worrying even more than they used to, and it almost certainly meant no more surfing. If he doesn't tell anyone, he'll still be allowed to surf, but will risk having a panic attack before a heat, maybe even in front of everyone - then the secret will be out anyway.

He lays in bed for a while, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling of his temporary room. He wonders if Summer has packed yet - she's leaving in just a few days, and yet to Ari it seems like she'd only just arrived. What was he gonna do after she'd left? She was the only one who knew about his 'anxiety' as she called it, although Ari knew he didn't have anxiety. He just got a bit...shaky... before a heat sometimes. Or maybe that was just what he was telling himself so that he wouldn't have to face anyone he knew and admit it to them and himself.

At about 7:00, Ari hears Honey's voice in the garden, accompanied by the loud sound of an American accent. They must be getting ready for the fundraiser, Ari thinks.

He can also hear his dad in his workshop next door, probably cleaning his boards or fixing some of his incredibly ancient ones that just lay about the garage. Ari's always wanted to use one in a comp, but even without his dad's opposition to any sort of competition, he'd never let him surf on something that might break beneath his feat when he's halfway up a wave. Ari gets why his dad keeps them though.

Finally, he pulls himself out of bed, grabbing a bundle of clothes from his wardrobe and pulling them on absently. As he heads for the door, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and stops. He looks bad. Dark circles gather under his eyes: the product of a sleepless night and his persistent over-thinking.

He hears his mum talking on the phone in the kitchen, and decides to head out to the garden. He doesn't really know why, maybe it's just the sweet contrast to the cold confining four walls of his own room that makes the sun-bathed garden seem so inviting.

He wanders aimlessly towards the workshop, all his surroundings seeming slightly blurred as he steps inside. He realises his dad was working on Honey's snail racetrack for the fundraiser this afternoon.

"Hey!" he exclaims upon seeing his son in the doorway. "Come and give me a hand getting this in the car, will you? If I break Honey's track I'll be a dead man." he says.

Ari plasters a smile on his face, breaking out of his stupor to go help his dad. "Yeah, no worries."

Ari sees his dad study his son's face for a second, his grin fading slightly in anxiousness. "You alright mate? You look a bit wrecked."

Ari hesitates, the words forming in his mind but not coming out his mouth. He stutters, trying to buy a bit of time. "Um, yeah dad I was wondering...have you ever been freaked out? When you're out in the surf?"

"Yeah, course mate." he replies, giving Ari an anxious glance. "Happens to everyone at some point."

Why doesn't this make him feel any better? Ari thinks. Probably because he's not told him the whole story.

"What happened?" His dad asks.

"Nothing specific, it's just I..." he stutters again, his eyes clouding over. "Last week, when I had my heat...I got all, anxious I guess, just before going in the water."

"That's normal, Ari, I promise. And I bet the hold down didn't exactly help." his dad replies, taking a step closer to his son.

Ari could feel his heart racing, threatening to beat right out of his chest as he stumbled over his words again. He could feel his Dad getting nervous, a look in his eyes that Ari had only ever seen a few times before, like after he first tried to surf stairway.

Even the mention of the word Stairway made Ari realise he was broken. Broken and he couldn't be fixed. Maybe if Marlon hadn't completely disappeared afterwards he'd be slightly less broken. But he'd still be broken.

"No, you don't understand, I...every time I'm about to surf I just remember..." he struggles to say the word without a sob escaping from his lips. "...I just remember me and Marlon at...Stairway, and...and..."

He doesn't realise his dad has pulled him in for a hug until he feels arms wrap round his body and he rests his head on his dad's shoulder, letting himself cry in front of someone for once.

"Ari." Thommo says softly, running a hand through his son's hair. "Mate, why didn't you come to us sooner?"

"I don't know." Ari says as his dad releases him and he takes a step back. "Summer said that I was having panic attacks, and I guess I...panicked, that you would stop me from surfing." he says, wiping his eyes with his shirt sleeves.

"If we stop you from surfing, mate, it's only because we don't want you to hurt yourself. Again." he added softly.

"I know. But dad, please, you can't stop me surfing now - Jarrah Island's coming up, and...and..."

"Well, I'll have to talk to your mother..."

Ari was about to protest, but reluctantly excepts that his dad is right.

A small set footsteps approache from the garden, followed by a larger set, as Summer and Honey come into the workshop.

Ari wipes his eyes quickly.

"Hey, dad I need my racetrack in the car..." Honey says, but trails off when she catches a glimpse of Ari. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, Honey. Ari's just not gonna come to the fundraiser today, that's all." Thommo says

Ari nearly tries correcting his dad, telling him that he would come to the fundraiser, when he saw his sister's smile drop, but he knew he was right. It was better to stay home.

Ari can also see Summer tilt her head to the side, a puzzled look on her face, and Ari nods softly, answering the question he already knew that she was asking.