He said I was a crush.
Oh he told me much, very much.
And I've been told a lot by my friend of how he adored me.
I even read some of his messages through my friend;
"How is she?"
"It feels great to see her happy,"
He sent wishes on my birthday, it was 2020.
I thought, God, I missed a sincere love.
Where have I been all this time?
I was desperate of chance, by then.
I was so scared to come back, would he even care?
But I did.
And he welcomed me with joy.
And he said he jumped out of happiness after reading my first hello after years.
And so I also died of happiness and relief.
Months of talking, I was being concerned about what are we. Where are we exactly?
I asked for closure.
He ran away.
Later I found out he asked for time just to be close with someone else.
If he loved me, why did closure scares him?
If he loved me, shouldn't it be easy to clear things out?
If he truly, genuinely, loved me, why is it so easy for him to switch to someone new?
It was the definition of crush, wasn't it?
A crush is only meant to be adored.
He never planned to be with me,
he never did.
He only wanted to love and adore me from afar.
God,
I am not even good enough to be adored.
YOU ARE READING
Evening Cup of Tea
PoetryI want to drink coffee but my stomach says no. They said, "At least you have an iced coffee!" But those sentence is not applicable for me. Here I am, lost in thoughts, feeling unwell, but have to drink a cup of tea instead of coffee.
