Tw
Self harm (if you need please vent in the comments if someone says anything mean or rude to you I will remove them <3)
Will pov-
The stinging in my arm, bringing me back to reality. The edge to cut more, the edge to cut till I ran out of room. I was to much of a wimp to cut to close to my wrist. I want to die, yet I am scared of death. My door was locked, at least I thought it was. I was sitting on the floor of my room. The shaving razor still in my shaking hands. Did I enjoy this? Yes and no. The pain brought me back to reality, no because alll the bad thoughts are going through my head making me feel like I need to do this. Tears are falling down my cheeks.
Fag. Gross. I am so gross. What would mike think. He doesn't love you. No one does.
This isn't the first time I have done this, it's been a problem since I was 12 I was now 14. I hear the front door open. Shit.
I jump up and shove the razor under my dresser. I grab a hoodie and yank it over my bloody arms. I needed to clean them out on bandages. They are gonna bleed out. Who is here? Johnathon isn't home till 10pm mom isn't home till 12am.
'Knock' "uh hello?" I say throwing out the bloody tissue. "Hey" I see mike. "Hey?" He walks over and kisses me. "How are you darling" I blush at the nick name. "I am ok what are you doing here?" He kisses me again "I am kissing my boyfriend" I smile into the kiss. "Are you staying?" I ask breaking the kiss. "Yes if that's ok?" I nod happily. I can feel the blood dripping down my arm. "I am gonna use the bathrooms" I say anxiety rushing over me. I rush of to the bathroom. I pull up my sleeve, and grab a towel. "Argh"i groan as I press the wet towel on my cuts. Pain seers through me, tears are brimming my eyes.
"Will you ok?" I stop, my hands still tears drip down my face. "Y-yea of course I am f-fine" my voice is shaking. "Will I can tell your lying" he sighs. "I am coming in" I start to panic. "What no! I am fine I am using the bathroom" I shout still panicking "stop the bullshit Will what's going on? You know what I am coming in" he opens the door, I yank my sleeve down. "Shit your bleeding" he points to the towel. "Mike I am fine!" He puts his hands on my shoulders. "Will don't lie what happened?" I can't help but start to cry. "Oh darling it's alright" you fucked up, fag, gross, I am gross, he doesn't care, he is in love with el still.
"I-I am sorry" I sob out, he pulls me into a hug. I have no idea if he knows what I did, but I feel like he's gonna figure it. "Sit down" I sit down on the toilet my emotions stil sprailing. "I- did you- can I see your arm" he points to my arm. I shakily nod, I feels hot tears stream down my face. He gently pull up my sleeve. "Will...." he gets up and grabs some bandages. "Did you clean them?" I nod hesitantly. "Ok" he says.
He just focuses on my arm he doesn't say another word. I feel so bad, I suck as a boyfriend.. "will we are gonna talk about this, after we eat" I smile slightly knowing that I won't have to talk right now.
"Will why did you that ?" He asks were sitting on my bed, I keep my head low. "I don't know" he sighs " yes you do" a tear drips into my lap. "I kinda have been since I-I was 12" I chocked out a sob. "Will.. you could have told me" I shake my head "you don't care your still in love with el" I say my words blur together. "Will I love you and only you, and cause I love you I am not gonna let you do this" mike says, this slightly reassuring me. "Now I want you give whatever you were using" I tense up slightly, I don't wanna give it to him. I wanted to stop but the edge was still there. "It's under my dresser" he gets up and grabs it. "I am gonna take this home" I nod as more tears drip down my face. "I want you to tell me next time you get the erge" I nod. I curl up into a ball and begin to cry. I feel mike wrap his arms around me. "I love you will please don't do this again I know it's hard but please try" i sob harder "I am so sorry and I will try"
A/n
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