Addicted

Chapter 7: That Feeling

Shane tossed and turned the whole night, nightmare after nightmare. He'd awoken the first time to see Maree next to him, smoking and reading her book. The second time, only to see Maree with a bottle of tequila in one hand, the tv remote in the other. After that, he'd open his eyes and see her asleep next to him, drooling and releasing soft snore.

_

The sun seeped through the windows, awakening Shane from his last nightmare. Opening his eyes, Maree was no longer beside him, he rubbed his face. He sighed then sat up, rubbing his eyes and feeling dehydrated. He stumbled to the kitchen and rinsed his face in the sink, before reaching for a cup to fill with water. Once he had drank an entire cup of water his head cleared enough for him to semi-think, voices came from the other side of the kitchen window. He turned towards the counter and started a pot of coffee, feeling as though he should be of some use, even if today was his day off. Laughter could be heard from the window as Shane made himself a cup and then went to look out it. Maree and Robin were chatting, Maree leaning into Robin's truck window. After a few more moments of laughter, Maree stood up straight and patted the truck door, signaling all clear for Robin to leave, a small cloud of dust behind her tires as she disappeared into the mountains. Maree stomped the mud from her boots while climbing the front steps then opened the front door. She let out an audible shiver and hung her coat on the coat rack. She came into the kitchen, seeing Shane still looking out window. "You're up," she said almost sounding shocked. "I tried to let you sleep in. You tossed around all night."

"You ever feel hungover, but you didn't have a drop to drink?" He asked, running his hands through his hair, his face looking darker and unrested. Maree nodded while pouring herself a cup of coffee and sipping it. She reached into the kitchen cabinets and felt around until she found a shot bottle and poured it into her cup. "I feel like shit today, like really I just want to go back to sleep."

"I have those days," Maree sighed, her hands bracing against the counter as she starred down into her cup of coffee. "Where your whole body and your head just need to feel something other than the sudden sadness that has washed over you?"

Shane sat down in one of the chairs, still facing the window. "How do I make it go away? The medicine doesn't stop these episodes. I still have days where existing just feels like so much work." He rubbed his face then sat with his head in his hands, his elbows braced on his knees. Maree turned to look at him and sighed. She walked over to him, kneeling in front of him to try to comfort him. He pushed her away for a moment then wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face into her shoulder as he tried to stop tears from escaping. "I don't even have a reason to feel this way, I literally spent all day yesterday in bed with you." Maree tried to stand, moving Shane's face to her stomach area, but letting him keep a hold of her. She scratched at his scalp causing him to let out a groan into her stomach. Holding her like this gave a slight release to his headache, making room for heartache as she wavered in her stance. Shane finally looked up at her face. His eyes were red and puffy as if he'd been crying. "What am I even doing here?" he asked his breath breaking between each word. She rubbed his head a little more, feeling the wet on her shirt and knowing in that moment that his demons had stolen the morning away from him.

"I can't help you fight the sadness, but I can lay down with you until it starts to go away." She smiled down at him, rubbing his face as well as his hair. "I still have a lot to do today, but I'd very much enjoy just letting you let it out. I said that I have days like your having, it's hard to make them stop, much less all together. I've been on this medication for years with no luck. You've barely been on yours for half a year. Allow me to be your comfort while you fall apart for a little while." Maree's voice was like a siren calling him to a rocky shore and he let her lead him back to the pull-out sofa and tuck blankets around him like he was a child that needed to be coddled. She sat up on the mattress next to Shane and brought his head to rest on her chest. She had picked up her book as they had made their way to the couch, now bringing it into view. "I wasn't planning on reading it until later, but would you like it if I just read out loud to you until you fall asleep?"