~Raven~ a Miles Teller TopGun fanfiction (SPOILER ALERT FOR TOPGUN 2)

6

"They aren't ready. If I just have a bit more time to teach them-"

"That's the thing Maverick. Seems like the only thing you've taught them is what not to do."

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~Raven's POV~

Today was slow. 

Phoenix and Bob came back, and everyone was very enthusiastic about their return, but not much else. No one really got anywhere with training today. I completed the course again successfully, but I was 3 seconds too slow. Rooster also completed it again, hitting the target this time, but he was way behind. 

We didn't talk all day. 

I think he tried to talk to me a few times. His plane kept pulling up next to mine, but I didn't even give him a chance to signal me. I either pulled away immediately or just didn't look. Rooster is nice. He's funny, he's confident, he's attractive, driven. He's got a lot going for him. And I really did see myself going somewhere with him. I liked the way he made me feel. 

He made me feel special. Like there was no one else in the room he wanted to look at more than me. No one else he wanted to accidentally touch as he brushed by you at the bar, or give his sunglasses to. No one else he wanted to kiss in the storage room or hold hands with at the beach. The smile his face adopted when he looked at me, shouted how grateful it was that I was there. 

He made me feel beautiful. 

But he ruined it. He just had to ruin it. I've tried not to think about it. I've tried not to analyze it, break it down into small enough pieces so that my mind can shape them into excuses. I've let it happen before. I let myself have a relationship. Ignored what it felt like to be treated less than him in public. Ignored the disgusting feeling I got in my stomach every time he subtly hinted that he knew he was smarter than me. I don't care if Rooster didn't mean it. I don't want to see the thousands of faces he might pull, the thousands of lines he might say that all in their own way can be reshaped to fit the exact same mold of, 'it just slipped out.' 

I know I can't keep up the ignoring act forever. Especially if we both get chosen for this mission. But my body is not ready to forgive him. My mind might be, the idea of him kissing me again persuading it easily, but my body isn't. The pit of dread that forms every time I think about it, the way I feel myself growing smaller as the line he shouted echos through me, vibrating my bones in the most uncomfortable way. I know I have to get over it though. I have to work with him.

Training was over for the day. Everyone decided that we would all meet up at Penny's bar for some dinner and drinks to celebrate Phoenix's and Bob's return. I wasn't going to go, not wanting to give my mind the opportunity to relive any memories that might be lingering in that place like a ghost, but Phoenix really wanted me here. So here I am. Wearing a loose-fitting summer dress, that sinched at my waist and frayed out to my mid-thigh, and walking into the bar. 

"Hey, Raven!" My head turns to see everyone sitting down at a booth in the corner of the bar. I force a weak smile, waving at Phoenix as she flags me down, beckoning me over to the table. I'm apparently the last to arrive, seeing everyone's faces all squished together in the booth. I immediately lock eyes with Rooster, who is pressed in the corner, one of his arms resting in his lap and the other on the chair behind everyone. He looks up at me, his signature glasses missing from his face. He looks worried, concerned I might say or do something dramatic after seeing him there. I just push out a polite little smile, before taking a seat next to Phoenix on the opposite side of the booth, squishing everyone down a bit more.