The Deliberate Seduction of Izzy Hands by Declan Finch, Stable Hand

"Izzy. Izzy, psst...hey..."

Izzy Hands would rather pretend he hadn't heard his boss, the man who went by Blackbeard but wanted everyone to call him Ed. Back in the day, only a select few got to call him anything other than Blackbeard, and even then, it was always Edward .

But not so since Stede fucking Bonnet.

"Yes, sir?" said Izzy as he turned to see Ed sticking his head out of the door to the captain's quarters. His expression was bright and happy. His once full and imposing beard had been shorn down to barely an inch long. Ed had returned from an enforced island getaway with Stede with it shorn. The crew had conspired to drop the co-captains there - behind Izzy's back - so that they'd finally admit their feelings for one another.

"Can you please bring us some food? Stede's kind of...well, naked." Ed giggled like a child and bit his lower lip.

Izzy grunted. "Yes sir," He said tightly. He hated the short beard, and he missed his own. Although the stubble was slowly growing back, it would take time for Izzy's to return to its former glory. The shave was punishment for getting in the way of Ed and Stede by way of a drunken kiss that Stede witnessed. That incident set back their blossoming relationship, and it seemed Ed hadn't quite forgiven him for that.

Izzy stalked along the deck, searching the mostly-loafing crew for signs of Roach. Instead he found Lucius. "Spriggs!" He barked.

Lucius tensed and looked up from where he was half-heartedly taking inventory of a barrel. "Yes, fuck, what ? I'm right here. You don't have to yell." He folded a square of fabric and then leaned on the barrel and fixed him with a saucy look.

Izzy gritted his teeth and growled a little under his breath. "The captain wants food. Find Roach and have him send up two plates."

"The ship isn't that bloody big! Why don't you ask him directly?"

"I am asking..." Izzy stepped forward, "...you. No, I'm not asking. I'm the bloody first mate and I'm ordering you. So step fucking lively."

Lucius sighed and stomped his foot. "Fine. You know, I don't like smooth Izzy. At least I expected attitude from beard-y Izzy."

Smooth Izzy.

It was all Izzy could do to not manhandle the scribe or threaten to toss him overboard. That was the kind of nickname that had a tendency to stick. But he knew if he made a scene, it definitely would.

Rather than challenge Lucius, he stalked off across the deck.

—-

Some hours later, when Izzy was settled into his threadbare cabin, there was a knock on the door.

"What?"

"It's me," came a voice from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?" a pause, "...I nicked some wine from the stores. Also I think I forgot my coat in there last time."

Izzy scowled at the door. "Fuck off," he muttered. But then, he noticed there was indeed a jacket that didn't belong to him hanging on the back of the door.

"Okay," said the voice, which was slightly nasal and had the same accent as the captains. "Can I have my jacket at least? It's getting kind of cold out here."

With a grunt, Izzy got off the bed and opened the door. He had to crane his neck upward to properly look at Declan Finch, who was an inch or so taller than Edward - who already towered above his uncommonly short first mate.

Izzy picked up the jacket and handed it to him. "Now, fuck off."

But Declan kept standing there. "But...I brought wine."