I'm not Insane

6.Holding it Together

It has been nearly a week since Dean had kissed Castiel. Cas couldn't stop thinking of how Deans lips tasted against his own. They tasted like coffee and pie. Dean, much like Castiel, couldn't stop thinking of the kiss he had shared with his 'angel'. To Dean, Castiel tasted of honey, tea and a small hint of burger. It was a weird combination, yes, but Dean enjoyed it. Dean had managed to keep himself mostly calm. But he did get strapped to his bed a few times for babbling in Latin.

Dean heard a small knock on his door. "Uh...D-Dean? It's C-Castiel." He announced himself in a quiet voice. "Can I come in?" Dean stood up from his spot on the floor. He had neglected the stool he had in his room. "Yeah Cas, c'mon in buddy." He allowed as he sat on his bed. Cas opened the door slowly and stepped inside, he shut the door behind him.

"Hello Dean." He greeted Dean with a small smile. He avoided making eye contact with Dean knowing full well that he would blush if he did. "Hiya Cas, how've ya been?" Dean asked him nonchalantly. Cas nodded. "I have been doing well, thank you for asking." Cas answered. "How are you feeling?" He took a pen out from his clipboard and got ready to write.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Been great. Peachy even." He says sarcastically. Cas sighed and wrote a few things down. "Any hallucinations?" He asked Dean with a cock of the head. "If by 'hallucinations' you mean demons, then no. Haven't seen 'em." Dean sounded irritated. "Cas, man, you really are my angel. You were sent from heaven to pull me outta hell."
Dean sounded irritated. Irritated his angel couldn't remember who he really was. Irritated his brother couldn't remember. Irritated that he was stuck in this god damn loony bin. He wanted out. He wanted his hunter life back. Even if monsters weren't real. He was convinced they were. He's been killing them in his whole life. But in actual reality.

He was in a coma for most of his two years. He only was what some might call 'lucid' for the last eight years. "Cas I hate it here. Everyone thinks I'm crazy!" He snapped at Castiel. Cas didn't say a word. He didn't like this either. Castiel knew Dean before his coma.
They had fallen in love.

He bit the inside of his cheek to hold back any emotion. He had his usual emotionless face on. But his eyes told something else. A pained story behind them. "Dean, you must calm down." Cas spoke calmly as if nothing was wrong.

"ENOUGH OF THIS CAS!" Dean hollered which made Cas take an immediate step away from him. "You were a fucking angel of the lord!" He stepped closer to Cas.
Dean somehow seemed bigger and more intimidating. "D-Dean calm down. Please." He squeaked as he backed into a wall. He could see the anger in Dean's face now. Dean grabbed Cas by the collar of his shirt and leaned in real close. Dean's breath smelled of the cafeteria food. His face was now inches from Castiel's.

"Dean. L-Let go o-of me." Cas stuttered as fear shot through him. The supposed 'angel' squirmed in Dean's grip. Dean grabbed onto Castiel's wrists and pinned them to the wall. "You are an angel." He growled. "You were my angel." He spoke lowly, trying not to cause much of a commotion.

Cas opened his mouth to call for help, but Dean gave him a warning look. "Help me leave this hell hole Cas. Allow me to leave." Dean's grip on Castiel was tight enough to keep him still, just not tight enough to hurt him much. "I-I can't...I can't do th-that Dean. I'm m-merely doing my j-job." Cas pulled at his wrists trying to free him from the grip of Dean Winchester. Dean suddenly pulled away from Cas. He was having another hallucination. "Get out of him dammit!" He suddenly pressed Cas against the wall harshly.

Cas squirmed and struggled against Dean. Dean had an arm against his neck, pressing into it.

"St-Stop. I-I can't b-breath." Cas wheezed, trying to get a satisfying breath of air. Cas clawed at Dean's arm trying to get it off of himself. That's when Michael and Nick heard the commotion. They rushed inside the small room and pried Dean off of Castiel. He had fallen to the floor, gasping for air.

Dean was staring at him with such anger. Hatred. Resentment. Nick stuck Dean with a needle and pushed the liquid into him. Causing Dean to slump into a medically induced sleep.

The two men strapped Dean onto his bed. One of them left the room while Michael turned to face Cas. He knelt down beside the mess of a lump that was Castiel. He was breathing heavily, eyes wide as he stared off into the distance.

"Castiel, are you alright?" Michael asked him with concerned eyes. He helped Cas up and walked him out of the room.

"Y-Yeah, I'm...I'm fine." His voice was more gravelly than usual. Michael took him to the infirmary. Cas of course resisted but Michael dragged him there anyways.

Later that month

It's been a while since Cas has seen Dean. He was too afraid to see him. Dean had tried to kill him. That's what Castiel had thought anyways. Dean had his reasons for doing so. Dean had thought Castiel had been possessed. He saw his eyes flicker black. Although Cas didn't want to say anything. He missed Dean. He missed his green eyes. His laughter and his perfect smile. The way his eyes lit up and crinkled when he smiled. He missed Deans heartbeat hearing it. Ba-dum ba-dum.

Cas sat at home. Alone. As he always does. He switched on the TV and watched the news for a bit. He had his feet on the coffee table and a cup of green tea in his hands. He didn't like being alone. His roommate, also his brother, happen to be on a date. With Sam Winchester. Cas found it funny they both like the Winchester boys. He also found the height difference between Gabriel and Sam amusing. Sam was more of a salad eating moose and Gabe was more of a candy-loving nuisance.