Growing up I realized how much ive hated my body. I would sit in the mirror for hours trying to love myself and feel like I was actually prettier. Ive tried to get a perfect body. perfect waist, perfect thighs, perfect face, perfect hips. But mostly my insecurities got more worse after the pandemic. My social anxiety at school would make me feel like everyone was laughing at me or my voice. Its got so bad that when I'm around a huge group of people I feel so nervous to talk to the them. And it doesn't help that I get bullied about my weight enough at home by being told I need to eat less but when I get to the point where I starve myself they start telling me "why dont you eat are you trying to starve yourself. thats not healthy for you" But then when I go back to eating they start telling me " gosh calm down you act like your starving maybe you should go workout or somethings" Its also gotten to the point where I just talk bad about my self but when I do talk bad about myself infront of my mom or sister they say " dont talk about yourself like that" even though they talk about me like that. There basically the whole reason I feel so insecure about my body especially my smile. I always get told by my mom "ew go brush your teeth they look yellow" or "why do you smile like that" and thats mostly the reason why when I smile I dont like showing my teeth because I'm afraid of getting bullied about my teeth. I just wish I looked pretty or skinny just like all the other girls at my school. Anyways this is a short vent story but thats all I really want to talk about for my insecurities.
