Letting Go

Chapter 3

That Saturday, Fain looked up the nearest mall and drove herself there. She methodically went through each store, buying some denim cutoffs and distressed t-shirts. She spent the longest amount of time in the bookstore that was tucked into the corner of the building. Her arms full of newly purchased clothes and books, she walked to the food court to get lunch. After checking out all the restaurants and grabbing a few free samples, she decided on a little bakery. With her stomach grumbling, she ordered a sandwich and a chai tea. Balancing her tray on her forearm she walked over to an empty table and sat down. She pulled one of her new books out and began to read while she ate. She had barely read a page when a voice next to her made her jump.

“Hey Fain.” Too perfect Bronte looked down at her, a curl of dark hair fallen casually on his brow. Fain swallowed nervously. This boy didn’t have any idea what he was doing to her. She knew she couldn’t let herself fall for him.

She replied civilly, “Oh hi, um, what was it…Brock?” She looked back down at her book, refusing to meet his penetrating gaze. He laughed, making her heart beat fast.

“It’s Bronte actually, but no worries. It’s not exactly a common name. But hey, that’s what you get when your parents are English professors.” Fain looked up despite herself.

“Your parents are English professors?”

“No need to look so surprised. I’m smarter than I look.” He winked at her, grinning. Fain smiled a little.

“Well I guess you can’t be completely hopeless since you were looking for a book in the library the other day. Did you end up finding one?”

“I did. Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte.” He laughed again and added, “My namesake.”

“You’re named after Charlotte Bronte?” Fain mentally kicked herself for restating the obvious for the second time in less than a minute. But she couldn’t believe how perfect this boy was. Handsome, smart, named after one of her absolute favorite authors. She pushed these thoughts down, remembering her promise to herself not to fall for him.

Bronte smiled sheepishly. “I know it’s not the most manly name, but…” Fain couldn’t help but smile a little at his embarrassment.

“No, no, I think it’s absolutely fantastic! I love quirky names.”

“Thanks. I guess it’s good your parents named you Fain then, huh? I’ve never heard that name before, I like it.” Fain blushed and grimaced.

“Thanks, but…” She paused.

“But what?” Bronte asked, his voice full of curiosity.

“Well, Fain isn’t actually my real name, more of a nickname really.”

“What’s your real name?” Fain hesitated. “Oh, come on! I told you that I was named after Charlotte Bronte. I thought that kind of thing made us friends.” A thrill went through her at his mention of the word friends. She pushed her feelings down, and looked him square in the eye.

“Fine. But if you tell another soul, I will literally kill you.” She narrowed her eyes. Bronte held back a smile.

“My lips are sealed.”

“Okay, my name is—Tiffany.” She said the last word quietly, shuddering. Bronte burst out laughing.

“Tiffany? You’re embarrassed by the name Tiffany?”

Fain hissed, “Be quiet! Someone will hear you.”

Speaking through his laughter, he said, “Tiffany, really? I was expecting Gertrude or Olga.” Tiffany is a completely normal name.”

Fain rolled her eyes. “First off, please stop saying it over and over. Second, it’s just not me. It sounds so, so ditsy.” Still chuckling, Bronte looked down at her.

“Well, I like Tiff—, I mean your name.” He grinned widely before continuing, “But, Fain is a perfect fit for you.” Fain smiled blushingly up at him.

“Thanks.” Over his shoulder, she saw a girl approaching them. She was tall, toned, and tan. Her sun-bleached, blonde hair cascaded down her back. Fain bitterly thought that she was a typical “California Girl,” but she couldn’t deny that she was gorgeous. The girl walked up behind Bronte and rested her perfectly manicured hand on his shoulder.

“Hey baby. I wondered where you went.” She glared territorially, and Fain felt her heart drop. Of course he had a girlfriend.

“Oh sorry! I just saw Fain here, and wanted to say hi.” He gestured towards Fain. “She just moved here from England.”

“Nice to meet you, um…”

“Fain.” She finished the girl’s sentence, wanting more and more to get away. The girl smiled without any warmth.

“I’m Amber.” That name. Fain’s eyes started stinging with barely held back tears. She picked up her purse and shopping bags, and mumbled incoherently about needing to get home. With a half-wave goodbye, she walked away as quickly as she could. She crammed everything into her car, collapsed into the front seat and let the tears flow freely.

“I’m so stupid!” She cried, hitting her hand on the steering wheel. She was letting herself fall for him, and she barely knew him. She had made a fool of herself. He had a girlfriend, named Amber of all things. Hearing that name still made Fain’s blood run cold. That name had ruined the best relationship she had ever had, and now she was reliving that horrible day in a mall parking lot. She pulled down the car mirror and looked at herself. Smudged mascara rimmed her hazel eyes, so she pulled a tissue out of the glove compartment and wiped it off. After a few calming breaths, she put the car in drive and headed home.