Letting Go

Chapter 2

Fain woke up to bright sun streaming through her window. Stumbling out of bed, she snapped the curtains shut. The amount of sun here was definitely something she would have to adjust to. In her mind, the sun was reserved for summer vacations, not for everyday. She dragged her feet over to her closet and tried to find an outfit in accordance with the weather. There weren’t a lot of options. She had rain slickers and wellies, but tank tops and shorts were nowhere to be found. Making a mental note to go shopping this weekend, she slipped on an oversized, thin cream sweater and a pair of dark jeans. With her messenger bag in one hand and her brown combat boots in the other she walked downstairs to the kitchen.

“Good morning, pumpkin.” Her father sat at the dining room table reading the paper. He looked up when she walked in, his kind blue eyes settling on her with a smile. “You went to bed pretty early last night. Were you all tuckered out from your first day?”

“Yeah…it was a long day.” She mumbled as she buttered a slice of toast. She was dreading going back to school. She was dreading seeing him. She knew his type. He was that handsome guy that knew everyone’s name, but had a small group of equally attractive friends. He was the quarterback or student body president, and the whole school worshipped him. She had known boys like him before, well one boy. And that boy had thoroughly broken her heart.

“You’re going to have a heart attack if you put any more butter on that toast.” Her dad smiled teasingly. Fain gave him a weak smile, and his face grew concerned. “Are you okay, honey? I know the move has been hard on you, but give it a chance here. I think you might really like it if you let yourself.”

“Sure Dad.” Fain replied to appease him. “I have to get to school, I don’t want to be late.” That wasn’t entirely true, but she didn’t want to have this talk right now. School was the lesser of two evils. She went and quickly brushed her teeth and swiped on some mascara. After lacing up her boots, she hugged her dad, and went to face another day.

Her second day of school went much like the first. She went to her classes, where she was quiet enough to remain unnoticed by her peers. Fain knew this couldn’t last, and that she couldn’t eat lunch alone for the rest of the year, but for this first week she couldn’t put forth the effort to be friendly.

All she wanted to do was sit in the library, and escape into a fictional world. Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde, or some other author long gone could ease her longing for home. But she couldn’t bring herself to go back there. She internally cursed flawless Bronte with his bright green eyes for taking that safe haven away from her.

Foolish as it might have been, Fain couldn’t stand the idea of talking to Bronte again. Not only had she thoroughly embarrassed herself in front of him, but she was so scared of the memories he brought back. He didn’t look like Ben physically, but his personality… She wasn’t being fair to this boy, and she knew it. He had been kind to her, but Ben had been nice at first too.

More than nice really. He had made her feel beautiful, funny, and happy. He would put his arm around her, kiss her cheek, and whisper compliments in her ear with his messy blonde hair tickling her face. They spent hours in little cafés discussing literature and life. Ben had this contagious smile, and a wicked sense of humor. She was always laughing when she was with him, and he knew how to make her smile when she really wanted to cry. He was the type of boyfriend who’d always open doors for her and carry her books. They rarely fought, and when they did it was short-lived. He hated Charles Dickens, but he read Nicholas Nickelby because she loved it. And when her birthday came around, he bought her a gorgeous old copy of it from an antique bookstore. He was in a band, and she went to all his local concerts and bought all his CD’s. It was perfect. He was perfect, too perfect.

It shattered like glass near the end of June. Each fragment cut her heart like a knife. The worst part was that he was “nice” until the very end. Ben took her to their favorite spot in Kensington Gardens, right next to the bronze statue of Peter Pan. He held her hand, but kept his pale blue eyes averted. Running his free hand through his hair, he sighed tiredly.

“Fain, I’ve got something that I need to tell you.” He proceeded to tell her that while he was on tour that summer, he had met a girl after one of his concerts. She had tried to make a move on him, and he had told her that he was dating someone. The girl was understanding, and asked if they could be friends. So that’s what they did. But over time, his feelings changed for her and they had been dating behind Fain’s back. “I love her, Fain. I’m so very sorry.”  Fain heard a strangled noise as she stared blankly at Ben. Her vision blurred, and she realized that the noise was her sobs. She ripped her suddenly cold hand out of Ben’s. She wished she could yell at him, make him feel a fraction of the pain that was tearing her apart.

Instead, almost subconsciously she quietly asked through her tears, “What’s her name?” Ben’s answer was equally hushed.

“Amber.” With fresh tears streaming down her face, she turned away from him, sitting with her head in her hands. There was an aching in her chest that felt so tangible. It couldn’t be over. When she finally looked up, Ben was gone. She turned her head to face the Peter Pan statue, and the eternal smile frozen on his face.

“You’re a fool Peter.” She whispered to it, “Nothing lasts forever.”

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*authors note*

hey everybody! i know there's just a few people reading and commenting on this so far, but i'm so thankful to all of you! this is really exciting for me. :)

i know these first two chapters have been pretty short, and part of me wants to try and make them longer, but i'll be able to update more this way. any preferences? 

let me know what you think so far (about plot, writing, characters, etc.)

love you all!

<3 Meg