sunnlite

Soft

^Lily in media

                          Lily's Pov

     Rissa woke up and left for work , i figured i should take a shower since i didn't last night .

i got in the shower and did my daily routine, as i was bathing my mind went to Keyn . She still hasn't came home . It's the fact that she's not even my girl and i'm stessing over her .

I thought of all the worst scenarios , I really hope she didn't have a one night stand .  I washed my face and got out the shower .

i threw on some joggers and a white sports bra , i went to the living room and turned on the tv , i was flipping through channels , i came across teen titans . The original one , man i loved this show as a kid . I tuned in and About 10 minutes later i heard the door opening .

"Lily " she called out .

i ignored her ass cause , Fuck you bitch.

"Hellloooooo" she dragged out .

Nigga what does she want , i whined .

she came and stood her tree looking as right i front of the tv .

"Bruh can you move Keyn" i groaned.
"Yo whats your Problem" she asked .

I snapped at her .  "You , You're my problem now back off".

"you need to calm down" she said

that shit sent me  into orbit  , i looked up at her

Leave me alone keyn" .

"bruh what the fuck is wrong with you " she pushed .

i Popped off and just let all my emotions out on her , she had me so fucked up.

"NO KEYN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU"? i stepped up to her .
"where were you last night " i nagged . 

"none of your concern" she said plain as fuck.
i felt my face getting hot , my eyes were watering , but i held it in , i didn't wanna cry infront of her .

"Did you have sex last night " ? i found the courage to ask .

She looked at me like i had 6 heads .

" DID YOU YES OR NO" ? i demanded .
"Yeah"! "yea i did , is that what you wanted to hear"? she admitted.

My heart Collapsed as she said it . The tears were on the breaking point of coming down my face. i pulled myself together and nodded before saying .

"Whatever this was ... the sex ... the flirting " i trailed off .

"It's done " i said as my voice cracked and i ran in my room locking myself in.

She didn't even come after me .

i slide down my door and cried , i started to hyperventilate a bit .

She made me feel all these  feelings , these feelings i don't ever feel.
Then she went and had sex with some stranger to spite me.

I got up and looked in the mirror as i cried , i punched the mirror repeatedly till my hand bled .

i felt myself slipping in dark space , a dark space i seem to forgotten about , but it didn't forget about me.

i reached in the draw and grabbed the sock.
I found the razor and glided it across my wrist sobbing . That wasn't Enough , i pulled my pants down and started to slit my thighs . The pain became overwhelming, i cried and cried as i waited for the pain to go away .

Once it did , i cleaned my cuts and layed in my bed staring at the ceiling .

I've gotta stop .

—Afternoon 5:45pm
i woke up from my depression nap and i felt pain immediately.  Fuck i remember i punched the mirror in .
i sat up and saw what i done to the mirror & i shook my head . i threw on a sweatshirt and got on my bike to head to campus .
it was so hard riding with one hand . i got to school and chained my bike up .

i headed to the nurse and showed her my hand .
"Jesus how did this happen" she asked .
"uhh... i moved moving a couch and it fell on my hand " i stumbled .

A couch ? Really dumbass.

She looked at me skeptical and wrapped my hand . "Keep icing it and swelling should go down ". "your hand will be better in a week" .
I thanked her and left .

Since i was on campus i decided to swing by Gelly Hall and see Rissa .

I knocked on the door and Rissa opened it , she greeted me with a hug and let me in .

She really made me feel better . We talked and laughed and We started to make bracelets .

"You know , You're so much softer then i thought you be" she teased .

"you know i get that a lot" i said .

"but honestly clothes don't mean shit , im still a city girl at the end of the day" i said sticking my tongue out .

Rissa laughed and did the Period thing with her hand .

i attempted to do it but i flinched when i felt pain .
"what happened" rissa asked .
"oh nun i-" 
"take off your bracelets" she interrupted me.
"why " i said with a attitude.

"im not fucking around Lily , take them off" she demanded .
i sighed and took by bracelets off revealing my freshly cut wrist. I started down at the bed , my eyes were watering & i couldn't look Rissa in the eyes .

She didn't say anything she just hugged me . I honestly loved Rissas hugs. We just stayed hugging for a while before i spoke.

"she had sex with someone else" i said weakly .
"She WHAT" rissa said angry .
i looked up at her and explained everything that happened Earlier

"You need to leave her alone" she snarled .
"it's not the simple , i live with her i sighed ".
"you know what you should do" ? she edged on .

i looked at her curious . "what"?

"just pretend nun happened , be friendly to her at home , act like y'all never had sex" she rambled .

i shook my head " i can't do that rissa , i've fallen for her " .

Rissa started fake throwing up , i flicked her off in response .

"Listen Lil , take my advice and i promise " she leaned in .
"she'll be begging for her lily back" she whispered.

I smirked and Dapped Rissa up .

Let The games Begin.