Nineteen

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On Thursday, I stood in front of the mirror in my  bedroom, staring a reflection I didn't recognize all that much

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On Thursday, I stood in front of the mirror in my  bedroom, staring a reflection I didn't recognize all that much. She looked like me, a little sharper in the cheeks, tiny fine lines around the eyes, even more obvious with the forced smile I pushed up.

This interview had become important to me, more than I thought it would be. At first it was a whim, something to kick start rediscovery. But now I was excited, anticipating how incredible it would be to land a job doing something I love.

I didn't want to get my hopes up, but with all the visuals fluttering through my head, those hopes swelled, rising and rising until I was overflowing with this need to be someone brand new.

I had the chance to mold old and new. Remnants of the past could be slotted in with fragments of the present and leave room for pieces of the future.

I was ever evolving and I had more control over who I am meant to be than I'd given myself credit for. I was a master builder and I was focused on creating a foundation that would never falter.


            Lin Architecture was on the top three floors of a twelve story building. The elevator had soft carpet, there was a touch pad rather than buttons and the walls were glass. I felt like I was in a spaceship for the few seconds I was going up. There were still things about the current times that surprised me.

Stepping off the elevator and into reception was much the same, sharp modern features, navy walls and mustard throw pillows on the sofa. The woman, her name tag reading April, behind the desk wore a headset over her soft blonde waves and tapped at her computer.

There were photos of gorgeous homes, framed and hanging right along the left wall. I couldn't even fathom working in a place like this. Not when I was eating cup noodles in a dorm room not long ago.

So it felt.

"Kinsley Lowe?" April snapped me out of the admiration trance I was in, lost to the potential in this office being part of the foundation for the new me. I smiled at her and gave a quick nod. "Perfect, have a seat, Mr Yul won't be long."

As I lowered into the sofa, the plush velvet soft beneath my palms, I thought about how familiar that name sounded. I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before. It nagged me for a while until I decided it was probably buried in my subconscious. A name from the past I'd never dig up no matter how hard I tried.

That was over now, the sifting and willing memories to surface. Exhaling a deep breath, I reminded myself, this was a new me.

A text came through from the pocket of my pencil skirt, one that I wore while I was working in marketing. Clothes from the past couldn't hurt, not when I felt so cute and sophisticated. It hugged me tight, like a skin on my wide hips, a little pouch in the tum. All of me was a lot smaller than it used to be and while I'd hated curves and rolls, remembering how Phoenix loved me two nights ago, made me feel beautiful.

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