Lights, Cameras, Love

Chapter 1. | Silence

I wake up to the sun rays bringing warmth to my exposed thigh, which lazily lays over the comforter of my bed. My eyelids flutter open to see the view of the city. The tall buildings across the street, people talking and horns blaring.

There's truly nowhere like New York City. Even though it has its imperfections, so do all humans. Everything in this world isn't perfect and eventually, we'll all just have to deal with it. Learn to live with each other's existence and wait for our final days.

I sit in the comfort of my bed for a little bit longer trying to ignore the upcoming events of my life. That was easily ruined by the sound of my phone ringing. I'm slow to grab my phone that's conventionally placed just a few inches away from my arm.

' Amelia Grey ' flashes across the top of the screen. What could she possibly want so early, well to be fair it's not early at all. It's actually 11:37, so can we really blame the girl?

I answer the phone and in nearly seconds I could already hear her squealing. "Good morning angel, are you excited for a new project!?!?" I wanted to say 'no, where in the fuck did you even get that idea' but I decide to hold back my annoyed tone and thoughts. For now.

"Only as excited as I can be Ames" I say in the most excited voice I could get from myself although it's not very convincing. "Oh come on Vic, don't be a let down" I could hear her pouty face over the phone.

"I'm sorry" I so wasn't but she seemed so excited for this opportunity for me, I just couldn't be a bitch. "I just woke up Ames" I tell her simply. "Oh sorry Vic, get ready and enjoy your morning hon!!" she says, I could hear the disappointment in her voice even though her effort to sound bright.

"Thank you Ames, for everything. I mean it.".

"It's my job Vic, you deserve nothing less." at that the line goes silent.

-

At this point, my face is lightly covered with makeup and I have a short black dress that perfectly fits my curves. I chose lighter glam just because I was completely sure what the glam team's plans were today or if I would even see them at all. And to be completely transparent I really didn't have the energy in my body. I could barely move.

I sit in front of the big mirror that sits in my room right by the bed. My mom would do her makeup in places that were literally anywhere except a chair and mirror. And I guess I favor her a lot since I'm on the floor. The balcony door is closed and now all I can hear is that overwhelming amount of silence that takes over my ears.

Before I could snap out of the silence and move, the silence takes over. Completely now. Every memory, every emotion, and every single bad thing comes in like waves. Staring at myself does me no justice at all. As my face distorts from me staring for far too long my vision begins to blur with tears. Tears that I had no clue I had left in me. Tears that hold every single drop of my feelings. Tears that showcase all my vulnerability.

The waves weren't calm anymore. They were crashing. Completely and utterly consuming every inch of me and not letting go but holding me tighter than ever before. Everything about me becomes a reason that won't be enough to stay alive. My ears begin ringing and I immediately snap out of it. But it's too late now. The thoughts, feelings, and especially the reasons are stuck in my mind and blood. The light hardwood floor that used to be dry is now painted with small droplets of the now passing storm.

Wiping my tears now with my shaking hands I lift my weak body up from the floor. No help. Just me. Only me. If the public knew about this it would be labeled a scandal, not a normal thing that so many other people do on this planet but a news report for people to judge me from. I want to be a normal person so badly but I never can. And that hurts a lot more than you think.

I do the quickest check in the mirror that's placed on the left wall of the door. I'm convincing enough I assume, if not I'll have to make some well planned excuses and trust me that's no fun. Now locking the door and closing it behind me I can finally hear the sound of voices and laughter and now I feel not so alone.

A message pops up on my phone right as im most likely serval feet away from my door. It's Gracie or aka my best friend since basically the womb, it reads 'Have fun today Vic, you're very loved' my eyes are quick to well up but only an enough to line the bottom part of my eye. If only she knew how bad I needed to hear those words.

I walk all the way to my car that's placed (to my luck) just around the corner from the door. sliding into the drivers seat I place my black sunglasses over my eyes and crank the car. I pull off and hope no one sees that it's me.

| ♡︎ |

Wow so much is happening rn, first thank you to everyone who is giving my book a chance. I have no words right now i'm just so utterly grateful for the attention.
Secondly I want to mention the times i'll be updating. I'll try to get something out every weekend (friday, saturday, sunday, or monday) please know I can't promise it.
That's pretty much all for now, thank you for reading!! hope you enjoyed :)