It Can Only Get Better From Here

Chapter One

I felt terrible. Greasy hair, dust all over my face, dirt under my nails. My life was a wreck, I knew that. I was raped when I was younger, by my step father, and he cut me with his stupid jack knife, giving me scars all over my face and body. To make matters worse, I was handed off to his stupid friends.. and I am owned by them. And they are trying to sell me. But this is where my story starts off. This is where it gets better. So let's start with the week before Christmas. I am 17 and loving today because Richard, the guy who owns me, is letting me earn money by playing guitar on the streets.

"Hey, Katiana! Get the hell out there!" Richard was drunk again. I gritted my teeth while I smiled sweetly at him.

"On my way, Richard." He staggered over to me. He was overwieght, about five foot eight, which is taller than my five foot four, and he had thinning black hair. "Did I hear attitude? Do you need to spend a night with the dogs again?" The fear was ice in my stomach, almost as cold and the air around me. "No, no, I'm really, really sorry, Richard! Please no!"

I hate dogs because of him. They are huge brutes, always hungry and blood thirsty. I watched them tear a cat apart... The poor thing didn't stand a chance. I shuddered the thought away. "Well, then get your worthless ASS out there before the dogs get out HERE!" I got up from my corner between two buildings and grabbed my guitar. I guess I wasn't going fast enough for him,  because he viciously kicked my right knee. I could've kept my footing, but I was standing on a patch of ice covered in snow. I fell to the ground, hard. A cry of pain escaped my lips as I felt something move in my knee. I held my tears back, because Richard would keep hitting me if I cried."Get UP!" He moved towards me so I got up as fast as I could and limped to the streets. The sunlight blinded me for a second, making my head throb. I tried to hide my limp as well as I could, but the effort was making my teeth clench.

People gave me funny looks a I walked to my place to play guitar. I felt my face twist in a sarcastic grin. I was used to the staring. The whispers of children asking their parents what happened to my scarred face. And the wolf-whistles. I was skinny, with a big but, big boobs, and a great shape. I hated it. I was always approached by violent men, them trying to get lucky and when I said no, they would attack me. Good thing I was a great fighter after all the attacks.

A small boy's hand gently tugged on my sleeve, making me jump out of my thoughts.

"Excuse me, miss?" I felt my face soften as I sat on the staircase of an old run-down building. "What's up, buddy?" He grinned. "I was just wondering... why are you alone so close to Christmas?" I bit my lip. He looked to be about five years old. "Well... bad things happened in my life, and instead of getting back up and fighting back, I let those bad things keep me down." I began tuning the guitar, not wanting to meet his eyes.

I heard him walking up the steps beside me. Suddenly, his arms flew around me. "Its okay, things can only get better from here. That's what my mommy told me when daddy died." I was very startled. Human contact... I haven't been hugged for a long time. I hesitantly hugged him back. "Thanks... what's your name?" He stepped back and looked at the ground. "I'm not supposed to give my name out to strangers..." I sighed inwardly. "Well, I will give you mine. It's Katiana." With that, I began playing the guitar. I don't mean to brag, but I was really good. The boy laughed in delight and listened to the whole song. When I was finished, he looked crestfallen.

" I have no money... but I have a spider man figurine for you!" He pulled it out of his pocket and held it out to me. "Oh... I can't take your Spider man, he is too valuable..." He kept his arm extended towards me. "Merry Christmas!" He said, and dropped it in my lap. Suddenly, a woman ran up to us. "Lucas, what are you doing?" She grabbed his hand and dragged him away. "She could have fleas or something!" I felt hurt. I don't have fleas, or lice. "Bye, Katt!" My head snapped up to watch him as he walked away. Hmm... Katt. I like that. I waved back, feeling better. Maybe things will go more smoothly. Maybe I will be bought by someone nice this time, someone I don't have to run away from. I sighed as I began playing Guitar again. Yeah, right.

I shivered. It was getting dark out. My thin clothing wasn't doing much to keep me warm. It was time to stop playing, since my fingers were numb. I looked in the money hat. It was filled almost to the top! Richard would be pleased with me, maybe he will let me sleep inside today.

I stood up painfully. My knee was throbbing again, and I had issues carrying the guitar and the money hat without dropping anything. I had already put the Spider man figurine in my pocket. I didn't want Richard to find it and take it. "Katina, hurry up! I'm going out to buy crack tomorrow, I need to count the money!" His voice was slurred. Drunk. Very drunk. I sped my pace up as much as I could. I limped in between the two buildings that I call home.

"Here, Richard. I made a lot today. Maybe tomorrow, I could go out again!" He started laughing. "When I am away? No, you will run again, and I need you." He grabbed the money hat. "Oh, yes, very nice! I am impressed... but I think instead of sleeping inside tonight, you will be out here with me, trying to sell you." I tried to keep the disappointment off of my face. "Or, if you would rather, you can go sell drugs,  just like your son did. Maybe you will die too, and then you can be with all the dead people you cared about."

I felt tears well up in my eyes. My son... I had him when I was 12, in result to being raped. When he was two, and I was 15, Richard took him out to sell drugs with him. My child never came back. His body was found the next day, with no leads on how he died. "Don't speak of that, Richard. Please..." I felt my chest tighten. The pain was like burning daggers repeatedly shoved through my chest. I was suddenly on the ground, holding myself together. "If I gave you a gun, would you follow in your eal father's footsteps? Your step dad said you watched your real dad commit suicide. Your life is a mess!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me off the ground. I let him lead me towards the street. I was about 7:00pm. Selling time. I remembered the words of the little boy, Lucas. "It can only get better from here!" A surge of hope filled my chest. 'Please, let it get better.' I thought as I stood on the streets with Richard trying to convince people to buy me. 'Please.'