The Bucket List | Doyoung/Taeyong

Chapter 5: List Item Four: Doyoung Contemplates the Merits of Drowning

Doyoung's parents try to hide their surprise when he returns home from Taeyong's in one piece. He supposes it's this that convinces them to let him go to the beach with Taeyong at night a week or so later; he imagines trying to pitch this idea to them even a month ago, and can't see it going very far.

But that was then and this is now, and if he has to lie to his parents and pretend like he's getting better when he's really not, that's fine. He wishes he could tell them to save their worry. It's not right now they should be worried about, but later, but after. Or maybe, he considers, maybe they know, and they're trying to stall him on his way through this list, scared of what will come once he's done.

Considering the last item is nearly impossible, Doyoung wonders if any of them should be worrying at all. He's pretty sure the only person who needs to worry is him.

They spend a day planning. Taeyong goes and buys snacks; Doyoung gets firewood so they can make a bonfire once the sun is down and it gets a little chilly. Doyoung's mother calls Dr. Cha again, just in case.

But the next evening sees Doyoung and Taeyong in the car, driving down to the water all the same. Taeyong's half-hanging out the window, whooping into the wind, and Doyoung's trying very hard to stay focused on the road. He hasn't been back to that hidden beach since he and Taeyong first found it those few weeks ago, and he's half-convinced that he imagined it.

But he sees a familiar-looking turn-out, and Taeyong's out of the car before he's even turned it off, disappearing into the scrubby greenery, only to reappear moments later with a gleeful shout. "It's empty, c'mon!"

"Gonna help me carry anything?" Doyoung asks dryly, pocketing his keys and reaching into the backseat for the towels and snacks.

"Sorry," Taeyong says, grinning.

They manage to lug everything down onto the sand in one trip without hurting themselves, and Doyoung follows Taeyong down a ways, where the cliffs rise up and there's more sand between the water and the rocks that line the cliff wall. He and Taeyong spread their towels out, pinning them to the ground with firewood and bags of food and their shoes, and then Taeyong takes off towards the water.

"Hang on," Doyoung calls. "The sun hasn't set yet, we're supposed to swim once it's night."

"Oh, just for a second," Taeyong says. "Look, the water looks like it's on fire. C'mon."

Doyoung can't argue with that. He abandons their belongings and heads down to the shore, splashing in about ankle deep and looking out over the water.

Taeyong wades back to his side, grinning. "We should come here again," he says. "Even after you're done with this item on the list. It's peaceful. And no one's ever here."

"Yeah," Doyoung says, suddenly feeling a little guilty. He only sees Taeyong for the list items, really. He only sees Taeyong when it's time for him to take one step closer to the end. Taeyong only knows him in stages of counting down.

But Taeyong doesn't seem bothered. "You know that thing people do, where they shout secrets and stuff at the sea?" Doyoung shakes his head, bewildered. "Okay, well it's pretty self-explanatory," Taeyong plows on, undeterred. "I've never tried it, but it sounds pretty cathartic. Wanna do it?"

Doyoung shifts foot to foot, feeling the sand push up between his toes. "I dunno," he says hesitantly. "Feels embarrassing."

"Oh, come on," Taeyong wheedles, grinning. "What's more embarrassing than the things we already know about each other? Here, I'll go first." Without waiting for an answer, he turns back around and cups his hands around his mouth and shouts, "I wish I were taller!"