By the time Shinra opened his eyes the sun had begun to set. "Have I really been out here all day?" Shinra whispered to himself, his throat dry and hoarse. "I wonder what the others are thinking about me right now," Shinra thought as he slowly sat up."I really lost it back there. I should probably apologize to everyone, especially Arthur, after all what he said was true. I'm a devil, and a murderer." Shinra stood up and was about to leave when he heard something clatter to the ground. He looked down to see his vape laying by his feet.
Shinra had a love-hate relationship with this device. It tasted great and brought him a sense of relief but he knew what the addiction was doing to him. He could care less about the physical drawbacks but the mental drawbacks mixed with his depression and anxiety were a bad combination. You see he already had many problems and he has Leaned on the device for help with them. When he's had a long day he goes on the roof and vapes, when he's feeling overwhelmed and stressed vape breaks, and at this point it's become a necessity for him. And without thinking further on the subject he pocketed the device.
Shinra climbed off the roof and headed inside looking for the rest of the group. As he walked down the halls he could hear faint laughter coming from the mess hall. He made his way there but stopped just before rounding the corner. Joy and laughter was coming from the whole group. " They seem to be enjoying themselves," Shinra thought, " maybe I shouldn't disturb them." Shinra turned around and headed to his room he gently opened the door to his cold dim sleeping quarters. He walked into the darkness and gently closed the door behind him.
He made his way to the soft light that was emitting from the washroom. Slowly Shinra slid off his jumpsuit and tank top. He then began to unbandaged his arms. He peeled off the gauze that laid on top of his wounds and winced in pain, for he could feel everything that's happening right now. The gauze was peeling away the dried clotted blood. Slowly inch by inch reopening the deep gashes on his arm. He could see little pieces of cotton stuck in the bleeding wounds on his arm that he so desperately wanted to remove, but the pain was too much right now and he still had a ways to go on removing the remaining gauze. Finally the first arm was done he sighed in relief as he felt blood dripping down his arm, but now he had to do the next arm.
After much pain and time Shinra was done and he bagan to clean the wounds. At this point he was already yet again used to the pain and too tired to really care anymore, so he simply grabbed the first thing he could find to clean the wounds, and that was isopropyl alcohol. He put his arm over the sink and took a deep breath and poured the substance over his arm. The first few seconds felt like nothing but then the burning began. He quickly set the bottle down before leaning on the counter in pain. Shinra was wrong. This was quite painful so much so that tears formed in the corners of his eyes. Biting his lower lip Shinra began to crumble to the floor and a few minutes later the pain subsided. And now for the next arm.
The pain was almost worse this time but at least he didn't have to do it again. Shinra just kept thinking the pain means it's working, the pain means it's working, the pain means it's working! But that didn't seem to help. After a few moments the pain was gone and Shinra fell to the floor with a Deep exhale. The cold tile beneath his body felt good against his warmth and his breathing evened out. Maybe next time he'll think twice before using the first thing he sees. After the bleeding stopped he dried off his wounds he began to rebandage them. Taking extra care this time to make sure his work was even and smooth, unlike last time when his work was messy and uneven.
He redressed himself and cleaned up his worksite. Taking the time to hide his tools. When he re-entered the room it was still vacant and dark; the others had yet to return. Shinra then took this opportunity to climb into bed. This way he could avoid contact with anyone. The second he laid down the exhaustion had finally caught up with him and his eyes soon met the darkness of the mind.
Again he was running through a colorless maze, cold and damp. His bare feet echoing against the stone walls. He was turning left and right and then he hit it, the dreaded dead end. He slowly turned around and was met with his chaser. It was himself. He stared at the lifeless copy of himself confused and scared. Then a sinister smile spread across the doppelganger's face. The sharp teeth began to separate as the devil began to speak.
"Aghhhh!" Panting shinra woke up with a scream. As he began to catch his breath he wiped his face with his hand and felt fresh warm tears smear across his tired eyes. He looked around the room seeing sun rays through his window. Dust floated around the room made visible by the golden light. Shinra hobbled out of his bed and slowly swayed into the bathroom. It was desolate, with the only sign of life being the small puddles of water on the shower tiles. Shinra made his way over to the sink and promptly began brushing his teeth. He tried his best to clear the fog from his head but no matter what he did he couldn't seem to shake it. Spitting out his toothpaste and throwing away the used dental floss shinra retrieved a bottle of shampoo and brought it over to the sink.
He began by running cold water and then swiftly dunked his head into it and then pulled it out swishing his hair back and forth. little droplets of water flung everywhere, he then grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squirted some of the substance into the palm of his caliced hand. He spread the soap evenly throughout his hair massaging circles into his scalp. Once again he dunked his head into the cool water but this time he thoroughly scrubbed the soap out. He took his head out of the water letting his wet hair drip out over the sink. He quickly flipped his head up, scattering water droplets around the room. He slicked his hair back and then ran his hand through shaking it out, too tired to even blow dry and style it he gathered his things, vape, knife, and phone, and then headed into the mess hall.
He paused just outside of the entrance and took a deep breath. Slowly Shinra opened the door gathering the attention of his team. "I just wanted to apologize for yesterday's actions," he held his hands behind his back standing tall before his team. " I was out of line and hurt the people around me. Arthur I'm sorry for hurting you and saying the things I did and captain, I apologize for not listening to your commands and disobeying you directly. And everyone else, I'm sorry for acting out in front of you. I know I frightened some of you and that you all think of me differently now. I hope I can make up for this overtime and I hope you can soon look at me the way you used to, but all I ask is for you forgiveness." Shinra then bowed his head in shame as small droplets of water fell to the ground.
Captain obi then rose from his seat tall and firm. "Shinra I appreciate your apology but," Obi relaxed his posture then spoke in calm sympathetic voice "we all understand, everyone has there's limits stress tends to get to everybody sometimes and when you never talk about what's bothering you it can cause you to lose your temper, so please if something is eating away at you just talk to me."
"Shinra we're all here for you please never forget that." Maki said with kind eyes and the softest smile, one he's never seen before
Iris nodded in agreement and Tamaki did as well. But why? Why were they all being so kind to a monster like him. Shinra then gave a soft smile back Taking extra care to not show his teeth. " Thank you." He sat down at the table and everyone began to jump back into their previous conversations. In hopes of lightening up the mood. Then before they could even get five minutes into their conversations the alarms began to blare echoing throughout the base.
Everyone jumped up from their seats swiftly rushing into their uniforms. Shinra followed in silent pursuit but the alarms were defining. Ringing endlessly in his head. He felt numb and heavy, this sound this horrid sound just like when he was there. On the table strapped down immobile. But those days are behind him those memories locked away in time hopefully to never resurface again. He hopped into the back of the matchbox as captain obi began to speed off to the scene of the infernal.
