Horrible Terrible Things

Chapter Twenty-Four

Maybe it was a little cowardly but I spent the rest of the day huddled up underneath the covers of my bed trying to unsuccessfully lull myself to sleep, figuring that when I woke and finally left my room I would have to face the wrath of Thor and what I had done to Kit and his soldiers. Not that I was sorry, I had no control. I was angry.

The truth was that Kit had lied about who he was and for whatever purpose - good or bad - I couldn't trust him. There was a niggling feeling in my gut that the body Loki and I had found of the other Kit in the Vault was closely linked to the sudden appearance of the Vanaheim prince. But everything in my life at the moment felt like disjointed pieces to a puzzle and I wasn't too sure if it was worth piecing it together, if I would like the answers I might find - if the truth might just tilt the scale too far and induce my fate as the Djǫfull.

There was also the strange red amulet in the Vault. The only artefact in the Vault that also snatched me away from Kit and discarded me in Valhalla only so Frigga could relay to me that eventually, I would have to love Loki, take him as a lover- though from his forced admission that we were mates, that seemed unlikely, at least as something more permanent.

I still ached for him though and I feared I always would, physically, emotionally, and spiritually - like I had found the meaning of life but was told that I was unworthy. Still, I wanted to be consumed by him in whichever way he wished to do so.

But needing Loki like I did so desperately was going to decimate me, already my insides blackened with grief at the truth that he would never confess love or affection to me, that we would never be together in the way I wished we could be. I had allowed myself briefly to imagine us married, matching golden bands on our fingers, sharing a near-eternal life together, happy and in love. We would have first had a daughter and then -

I pulled myself from the daydream again as my heart constricted. It was idiotic of me to go there, to imagine that Loki who had never loved anyone - save for that fucking woman Sylvie - would love me, let alone wish to bring a child into the world.

Those daydreams of him and what our life could be easily pulled me into their depths but I had to be cautious, that was not Loki, only a version of him I wished to exist, I couldn't confuse fantasy with reality. I knew I also didn't have it in me not to allow myself the guilty pleasure of those thoughts, not after he had confirmed we were mates. I was still holding onto hope, what small slice he had given me after our encounter in the palace gardens earlier.

Even now laid in bed, I could feel my belly curl with desire at the memory of him touching me in the gardens, I felt myself still coated with my own cum from the wet, smooth laving of his tongue. I knew I would pursue him to whatever end - to have him over me, his cock thrust inside of me right to the hilt, chasing his own release, his blue eyes bleeding crimson as he claimed me, his mate - even if it caused my own insanity.

This bond between the two of you is intentional, Frigga had told me. She had known, just like Thor had known to some degree what I would become, who I would become. But the specifics were hazy, Frigga had never mentioned a Thrice Prince but Thor had, my father knew more than he was letting on and I could only assume Loki did too. So why hadn't they tried to stop me just yet, was it as simple as the fact that they were holding onto hope that I just decided not to become the fucking Antichrist?

Loki could help me grow my powers, perhaps even control them if our showcase in the gardens was an example, his own power reached out to mine in somewhat of a caress. Was a physical relationship with him the answer to controlling that part of me? And if Kit was the Thrice Prince, would he be the one to stop it all? As an ally or an enemy?

There was a loud pounding on my door and I sat up in bed as Thor strode into my room, a broad grin on his face. I gazed at the doors leading to the balcony, a swath of orange over the blue sky indicating the late hour.