Cross Roads of Life

The Trial and Error

                                                                   

                          APARNA

"Apoorva or Aparajita?" I asked pointing two of my fingers at my little girl.

"Come na select one of them and both mother and daughter can have twinning names" I giggled tickling her as the auspicious date of her naming ceremony neared.

"I already have a name for her in mind, you don't need to be worked up" I turned my face at him rather shocked.

"But Tushar, she is..."

"Aparna, no more discussion. I don't intend to fight with you"

I sat clenching my fists nervous about the name my husband whispered in my daughter's ears.

He held her finger and carefully wrote the name over the rice on the plate. My eyes widened looking at the name.

"Tulika" he announced her name proudly.

I am not any idiot to not get how the name came up. It was a name taken from the names of my husband and his girlfriend.

In our five years of marriage I never fought with Tushar over anything, but that night I couldn't hold it anymore.

"Now you will take away my daughter too? Don't you think I have any right over her? How can you include your ex in the name of my daughter? Isn't her presence enough in my life? Why my daughter is dragged into it?" I screamed at him.

"I am sorry for hurting your sentiments Aparna," he said and end of the discussion.

"No Tushar, not this time" I raised my voice.

"I have been silent all these years, I mined my business, but I am not going to stay silent when you can't respect the feelings of a mother. Enough is enough" even he looked surprised at my outburst.

I thought he would at least stop me, but he made no attempt as I packed my bags

"How long are you going away," he asked.

I didn't choose to answer.

"Tulika is my daughter too, remember that" was the only thing he said when I exit his place with my luggage.

Though my legs shivered walking away, I couldn't bear the pain of my self-respect crushed to death.

"Appu, is everything okay? What is with all this luggage? What are you doing here at this hour?"

"Amma, will you at least let me come inside or keep me standing here itself?" I yelled irritated.

Without answering my mother's intriguing questions, I stayed silent. After a day or so, there were questions from everyone and everywhere.

"I can't stay with him anymore," I announced and the hall turned silent.

"Have you gone mad? Do you even understand what are you even saying?"

"Amma, he doesn't love me. Leave love, we barely talk. He is in...leave that, I can't go back to him"

"Then what will you do? Stay here and live on our heads?" it's my sister-in-law.

"We already have enough crisis and problems dancing on our head and we are not in a position to welcome anymore"

I looked at my mother, she looked away.

"Amma, isn't this my home too?"

"It was, before your marriage. Not anymore" it's my sister-in-law again.