Cross Roads of Life

The Existence

                           APARNA

"I will look after her academic fees and you take care of all other miscellaneous things. Both of us will feel contributed" Tushar came up with a solution as I wanted to contribute as much as possible in my daughter's life.

I cried along with Tulika on her first day of school, she turned into a complete Dad's little princess. She loves spending more time with him, filling him with all her school stories and he loves hearing her animated talks.

The Tushar I see with her is the person my mother-in-law said how her son used to be.

One day she created havoc by spilling out that her Mumma and Papa sleep in separate rooms.

"What is that Appu? Do you both still have any problems?" my mother asked.

"Leaving him was the only solution, but will you allow a divorced daughter back home Amma? No right? Then don't be concerned" she stepped back hearing my stern voice.

"Aparna, why are you punishing her?"

"This is nth time Tushar, I am tired of saying her not to drench in the rain. She already caught infection many times, yet keeps playing in the rain. From where the hell did she even pick the habit?" I yelled exasperated.

He sat on his knees and asked my daughter the reason.

"I love playing with rain Papa, I feel soo happy doing that" she explained with a big smile.

He kissed her lovingly, I couldn't get why he is being soo happy about her loving rain. Meanwhile, she escaped once again with her father's support.

We started going out to parks and malls, only for Tulika. Sometimes she became too stubborn to sleep between both of us and I dispersed once she slept.

Once while returning home after watching a movie, Tulika's demand for ice cream grew and I warned Tushar to not melt as she recently had fever.

She threw tantrums even after buying a toy, I tried to hold her in my arms as Tushar tried to convince her.

"We will eat ice cream sometime again, please don't cry maa" Tushar moved closer to kiss her cheek, but she jumped down making his lips land on my cheek.

A soft gasp left my lips involuntarily. My heartbeat raced. My first ever kiss....

"I am sorry, that was an accident. Totally unintended" he jumped to explain.

"I know. You don't have to explain, not even in dreams would I expect you doing such things with intention"

I calmly walked back to the Car and Tulika was fast asleep.

"Do I make life tough for you Aparna?" he asked as I was about to retire to the bed.

"Very much" tired, I spoke what I felt.

My truth only brought more distance and the bare minimal conversation we used to have too ended now. I haven't felt any indifference, he always loved Tulika, the problem is only me.

He left a note on the refrigerator about his onsite tour and Tulika said she knew her father would be away for 10 days. He locked his room and his absence made no indifference except Tulika's constant nagging.

Hearing the calling bell ring past midnight, I opened the door after cross-checking that it's Tushar.

Taking the heavy bag from his hand, I found him trembling.

"Is the weather too chilly?" I asked

And his reply came in the form of a bone crashing hug, my senses blurred for a second or so. I felt the oxygen from my chest being knocked away, a mixed feeling of surprise and shock, my legs lost sensation altogether. When I regained my senses, my hands ached to hug him back.

"Finally... I met her" my hands on the way to hug him back dropped then and there.

He released me and looked at me with teary eyes

"13 long years since I lost her..." he spoke with a groggy voice.

"Ohh" that was all I could say. I had no idea.... how am I supposed to react to the piece of news?

"I stumbled upon her at the airport, she hasn't changed a bit" he started giving me the information I haven't asked for.

"She has agreed on staying here, she is finally going to step into her house. Finally, it's going to be a home" and the ground below my feet shattered.