Dr. Laufeyson

This is me opening up

"So y/n, I want to touch a little on why you're here." Dr Laufeyson spoke evenly, looking at you with an interested expression as he sat opposite you. You watched as he pushed his escaping glasses up his face, waiting for you to speak. Unlike last week, this time his button up was a light blue. His hair was tied back as opposed to being in a bun. You hadn't realised how long it was. "Whatever your comfortable with." He added, breaking you from the daydream you had slipped into.

"Don't you know already?" You exhaled, looking away from him as your fingers drummed the armrest of your chair.

"I want to hear it from you." He answered "why have you decided to come in? What is it that you're hoping to achieve and how can I help with that?"

"Rich parents who'd prefer to send me to therapy instead of actually talking through my problems with me." You snorted.

"Problems?" Loki repeated.

"Yeah, my problems you know, the sex, the one night stands, the constant need—" you listed before you paused "sorry I'm rambling."

"No. We're here for you to talk y/n, don't ever feel you're over talking." Loki assured "Looking through the answers to the questionnaires you completed before our session, it seems as if your addiction is the thing that you wanted to work through the most. Is that still the case?"

It felt fine coming to terms with the fact that you could have potentially formed a craving to sex since your breakup with Curtis, a craving that other therapists had titled addiction and something that you happily typed into the questionnaire but it now felt different actually sitting in front of Dr Laufeyson and having to say it out loud.

"I like fun." You said simply.

"Fun is only fun when you're enjoying it." He answered "do you enjoy it?"

No

"Yes." You answered, you did, sometimes.

"Okay." He smiled curtly, jotting something down in his notepad that you squinted your eyes to read. "Tell me about your most recent experience. Did you enjoy that?"

In all honesty, you didn't actually remember it. All you remembered was meeting the guy at the bar and bringing him home, everything else was a blur.

"Yes." You nodded.

"How did it make you feel?" He asked.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yeah, good." You dismissed as your leg began to shake.

"Okay." He spoke calmly, writing again before he asked his next question "when was your last relationship?"

Curtis

"Erm, about a year and a bit ago." You tried to sound nonchalant as memories of Curtis flooded you.

"And how was that?" He continued.

You took a deep breath, fingers drumming against the arm rest of the chair as your leg continued to shake.

"It's okay, you can take your time." He assured.

"It um, it was." You stuttered, swallowing thickly as you recalled the entirety of you and Curtis' two and a half year relationship. You looked around the room at more minimalistic paintings, wanting to distract your mind from the memories. Curtis had nothing to do with what you were going through now. He didn't even deserve his name falling from your lips. Not after everything he did. Even if he was partly to blame for your thoughts and feelings now, you didn't want to go into it, you couldn't. "Great sex." You laughed, facing Dr Laufeyson again as your leg stopped shaking and you relaxed your hand.

"Was that it?" He questioned "were there any other positives or perhaps any negatives?"

"Many many positives." You grinned, biting your lip as you looked at Dr Laufeyson "I didn't get any complaints." You added, recalling the times Curtis would praise you even if you were simply just a prop, a means to a release, the times you weren't in the mood and you'd just lay there, lifeless, drifting somewhere else as he thrusted into you, his praises would bring you back down. His nice words outweighed his awful ones, at least they did at the start.

"Would you like a tissue?" The Doctor asked, offering you a box as you focused back onto him, wiping your eye, you realised that a few tears had fallen down your cheek.

"Oh shit sorry." You laughed awkwardly, quickly picking up a couple of tissues as you dabbed at your face.

"No need for apologies." He insisted.

Scrunching the tissue into a little ball in your hand, you focused on Dr Laufeyson as he pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"Here." You said, holding out your empty hand.

"What?"

"Glasses." You gestured.

"I don't think—"

"I used to wear glasses, pass them." You instructed. Not sure why, he followed your order, removing his glasses before handing them to you. There was something about you, something different. He observed you as you bent the edge slightly, careful to not break the frame. You were so engrossed in the task as if moments before you hadn't been crying. It's like you were someone new now.

"Where do you go?" He uttered, barely audible. You didn't hear him. Finishing, you handed him back his glasses watching as he put them back on.

"Better?"

"Thank you." He smiled kindly.

"I think that's our hour up, Loki." You said, glancing at the clock behind him and using his name considering you were both no longer in session. "Same time next week?"

"I'll get it booked." He nodded "take care." He said, walking you to the door.

"You too Loki."

Leaving the building, you entered Bucky's car that had pulled up. You had phoned him earlier to pick you up as your car was currently being serviced.

"Hey doll." He smiled, reaching over and kissing you on the cheek "how was it?"

"Goood, I was sitting there all like this is me opening up." You exaggerated "and I think we had a breakthrough." You lied.

"Really?" Bucky smiled excitedly "Aww I'm proud of ya."

"Thanks." You replied, eyes focusing on the window as you thought about your relationship with Curtis.