Baby... I'm Sorry

Chapter 1

1 February 2013

“ARGH!! Why can’t I get anything right? WHY!?”

Jonathan angrily slammed his hand down hard on the console in the studio. It was a shocking action because everyone knew how precious the equipment is to him. This was where he puts a bit of his soul into the music he creates. It is where he worked his magic. No one is allowed to touch that unless permission has been granted.

All the other 4 members looked at the leader with concern. They turned to each other as if asking if it’s wise to go to him and ask what was wrong. But they were afraid what happened the day before would repeat itself again. Instead of approaching him themselves, they turned to the only other person in the studio whom they know would be able to get an answer out of him.

Teddy Park.

Teddy knew what the other SMASH members were asking of him. He was weary of approaching the boy as well. But he knew that he had to because the other 4 boys were terrified to step on to this minefield. He didn’t blame them. Yesterday’s incident had shocked all of them. No one had expected Jonathan  to react that way to the news. To say that he was apoplectic would have been the understatement of the year.

“Jonathan ah, why don’t you take five? Then tell us what is wrong so we can help you with it. We are all here to help you.”

Teddy said in his most comforting voice. Usually it would have calmed him down, but when Jonathan turned to look at him, he was shocked at the ferociousness on Jonathan’s face.

“Get out. Now. All of you.”

The 4 members stood up quietly and walked out of the studio, knowing that when their leader was in this mode, it was better to do what he says and not argue. Teddy looked at the 4 of them and nodded his encouragement to them. Darren was the last one and when he got to the door, he turned back and paused. Seemingly to debate with himself whether he should go forward to console his best friend, he met Teddy’s eyes and saw him shake his head at him. Darren knew that was the signal for him to go and leave Jonathan alone.

Teddy looked over at Jonathan who had laid his head down on the console. He walked over to him and put his hand on Jonathan’s shoulders. Jonathan looked up sharply, the ferocious look was still there but when Teddy looked closer, he saw the tears that were making Jonathan’s eyes sparkle. The fierce leader was gone. Teddy saw only a child who was lost and hurting.

“We would all leave now, Jon, but know that when you want to talk, we are always here. Although I have an idea of why you are acting the way you are, I have a feeling you do not want me to tell you. In fact, I do not really want to tell you because I believe you need to figure this out on your own. I suggest you go back home, take a break if you need to then come back here when you are ready, physically and mentally.”

Teddy gave Jonathan a tight squeeze on his shoulders and walked out of the studio. Outside, he found the 4 members waiting. They wanted to know if Jonathan finally told him anything. He looked at 4 of them and gave them a sad smile.

“He’s not doing too well right now. Be patient with him. Expect him to be the worst nightmare you would have to be around for a while.”

Kris’s eyes, upon hearing that, grew as big as saucers.

“WHAT?! He’s usually already a nightmare when it comes to work, you are saying he’s going to be beyond the worst we have gone through before? OMG! How are we going to survive?!!”

“Lower your volume. You don’t want him to hear you.” Darren said, smacking the youngest member’s head.

“But Darren! It’s the truth. You know he’s such a perfectionist when it comes to work. If he’s going to be worse than he usually is, we are in deep trouble.”

“Let’s take this elsewhere. Even though the studio is sound-proof, I don’t think you want Jon to hear us right now.”

Having said that, Teddy led them to the rooftop of Parker building that only the top management has access to. He knew that during this time, he needed to be the older brother who would be there for his brothers. It hurt him to see Jonathan in the state he’s in and how confused the other members are but in truth, there was nothing they can do about it. It’s difficult to do anything that would entails the rescuing of another’s soul when the person himself didn’t know that he was losing it.

The 5 of them just stood at the edge of the rooftop looking out, each lost in their own thoughts. The news that they received yesterday had shocked everyone but it would seem that it hit Jonathan the worst. Everyone was thinking of the repercussions of that decision when suddenly, all their phones except Kris’s rang. Each took out their phone hurriedly to see who might be calling and upon seeing the name on their caller ID, they quickly walked to a quiet corner of the rooftop to answer the call.

But for Teddy, it was an unknown number. Even then, Teddy could guess who was the one calling.

Kris stood at his original spot and lament why no one was calling him at this moment.

“Man, am I that unpopular? Why doesn’t anyone take me seriously?”  

To be continued....