Hidden in the past

Return to fame

Jimin looked at the rain as it poured against the window of the car. The day was a bit like Jimins mood, dreary. He twisted his fingers nervously, he wondered if he could keep the pretense up but knew he had to try, he didn't want to rock the boat.
The car drove into the company building, Jimin got out thanking the staff and went to the lift. Once inside security pushed the top floor button .
"Nice to have you back sir"
"Thank you....., is everyone else here or at the dorm?"
"You are the last to arrive, everyone is here."
Jimin nodded psyching himself up.
The lift doors opened and Jimin  nodded to people that greeted him.
"JIMIN!!!!!!" A loud voice shrieked.
"Hey Jin how are you?"
"I'm fine have been looking forward to this day, "
Jimin smiled," me too,"
The pair walked down the corridor to the main office, going in he found the others there.
"Jimin hi, have you lost more weight since I last saw you?"
Jimin faked smiled"I don't think so," but knew he had, when people in the military found out you were gay, simple things like mealtimes were a thing of the past, he'd lost count of the food knocked from his hands, 
"Hmmm," RM looked worriedly at the other, he had seen him on a break two months ago and thought then he was verging in the slim side, that and the genuine sad look on his face had troubled RM deeply.
"Oh hi Jimin your here,"
Jungkook quickly looked up from his phone to acknowledge the other then looked down again.
Jimin would have laughed if he hadn't felt so sad, he'd been pining and the other barely acknowledged his existence.
The rest greeted Jimin warmly.
"Ok then, I'd just like to welcome you back and provide a timesheet for upcoming events. As you haven't been together as a group for a while there will be practice most days. You have a radio interview in two days, they just want to ask about army life and going forward."
"Great, it was certainly different I missed you guys except Tae of course he was with me so I had a friend but made many others".Jungkook replied.
"It was different for me I was in charge of musical shows put on because of my old shoulder injury I wasn't allowed to be in the normal part of military but it was ok." Suga said
"We had a good group as well as ourselves didn't we?" Jin said to RM and Hobi. Who nodded.
All eyes went to Jinin, who shrugged and asked if he had to do that interview.
"Well it would look peculiar if your not there," the manager said worriedly.
"Well I can't promise to say anything positive about it," Jimin muttered.
"Oh come on it can't have been that bad we all did it."
"Well hurrah for you, how many times did you get food tipped from your hand, or  water slung on your mattress or the favourite one locked all night in a janitor closet once lights out had been called, in the freezing cold and only let out at roll call?"
"What!" the manager exclaimed.
The rest looked dumbfounded," but why?"
"Because I'm gay."
"Jimin I can write too the commander to complain?"
"Who do you think wanted to beat the gay out of me?they were totally ashamed of me."
Jungkooks full attention was now on Jimin and looking at him he could see it had affected him, his smile wasn't there he was slim to the point of being skinny and he'd done it on his own. They had all wanted to apply for the same group but the military were against it and gave them the options they had.
Jungkook felt sorry for the smaller boy who had always hung around Tae and him, he knew he was gay as they had all played truth or dare years earlier and Hobi had made Jimins truth the question what sort of girl he wanted to end up with and Jimin  easily replied none as he thought he was gay.
It didn't bother any of the group Jimin never made them feel uncomfortable and Jungkook being the sort to want to know everything about gay sex so had watched porn and then wondered if Jimin had done'that' with anyone!
"Well due to your news Jimin.....,maybe we can say you had a prior engagement ?"
"Thank you," Jimin said
"I prefer not to go as well," Jin said patting Jimins back as he stood by him.
"I think that's a good idea, it doesn't look as suspect if two people had previous engagements ," RM said.
"God forbid we make the army look bad,"Jimin muttered.
"Look I know you obviously didn't have a good experience but some of us did, we can't all agree with you, "Jungkook said.
"I wonder how you would have felt in my shoes?"
"But I'm not gay , so I won't know will I ?"
Jimin couldn't help the whispered," so you say....."
But Jin next to him heard it and stared quickly at Jimin.
"Look guys let's move in, we are back together let's go back to the dorm, wonder if will feel the same, we all got pretty drunk the last night we were there." Tae laughed.
"Yer , we didn't get up in time to see Jimin off, he left so early."
Jimin remembered that all too well, he hadn't slept that night but his memories weren't of getting drunk but something else.
"I think I had the weirdest dreams that night ," Jungkook suddenly looked up frowning.
"Really what about?"
"I was having sex!"
The manager spluttered out his coffee laughing.
"Kook you never fail to surprise me!"
Jungkook grinned, "well it was very real,"
The others laughed except Jimin who looked away out of the window.
"Ok boys your rides are downstairs , glad to have you back."
They all went down and got into different cars, Tae and Hobi in one, RM, Suga in another and Jin Jungkook and Jimin in the third.
Jin and Jungkook chatted away while Jimin was silent.
"Jimin are you ok?"
"Sure Jin just tired."
Jin was convinced something was up but didn't push it just smiled at the smaller boy. Jimin closed his eyes drifting off to the sound of their chatter.
As often happened when he was asleep bad memories came, masked soldiers pulling him from his bed ,outside into the cold, two holding him as a third came towards him with a lit cigarette," No no ....Pretty boy Jimin...."
"Jimin"
Jimin woke up with a start seeing two concerned faces in front of him, calling his name.
"You ok, you were yelling in your sleep?" Jungkook asked, he didn't like the scared tone of Jimins voice.
Jimin shook himself.
"er must have been a dream,sorry,"
Frowning the pair turned back not believing him but knowing they wouldn't get more from him.
They finally arrived at the dorm, each walked to their room. Jimin and Jungkooks were opposite each other and Jimin couldn't help but glance across as Jungkook opened the door.
Jungkook noticing asked," is something up? Did you want something?"
Jimin shook his head opening his door and going in, he wondered what Jungkook would say if he had answered with the words in his head,
"Just looking Kookie to the place I lost my virginity and where you can't remember anything about that night even though it's seared in my memory forever,"
No..., he didn't think Jungkook would like that at all after all he wasn't gay was he.