Mission was Taken DNF

Querencia

Querencia

(n.) a place from which one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.

~=~

"What's your story?" The silence trembles and breaks apart in an avalanche, another roll of thunder rumbles through the trees and I hear a few chirps from the startled birds. I'm just like the little robins, scared of the question that boomed throughout his room. Clear as day but blurry as the blind, my answer is stowed away in the back of my mind. Behind a wall I plastered with Band-Aids everyday, the gate locked with a key I don't have.

"What do you mean?" I ask hoping I can get away with keeping my memories still, like a beaver dam making a lake. Soon a leak would rip through, but I didn't want today to be that day. He hums his way into my mind and I can feel the dampness of his breath on my abdomen. His hands let go of the back of my shirt and I take that as my cue to let go. George just looks up at me and ponders my face, watching how my visage twitches to his question.

"I told you my story, my past, and how I ended up here." His voice lingers, hinting at the obvious as I nod at his explanation and take a moment to comprehend what I might be doing to myself. Would it be worth it? To have my entire wall broken down. To let my past take over my words until I fail to stand up to it, scared of what it did to me. Would George help me rebuild or clean away the debris like Sapnap had said a therapist would? George's hands rested on my side, while I stood limp trying to determine my path.

"It all started once we moved..." I started and continued carefully choosing my words and being as honest as I mentally could in that moment. The storm outside only brewed stronger, like a bitter black coffee on a cold summer evening. I explained from the very beginning, when my mother's drinking problems started all the way to the end when Quackity and the team saved us that dreadful day. He listened and nodded in reassurance when I got stuck, sometimes pausing to stare at a fallen brick of emotion. I hadn't realized it but I had started to cry midway through, a tear ran down my face like a little forming stream after a flooding rain. George noticed, though, raising himself from his chair to come closer; he wiped the tiny tear off my cheek with his soft thumb, letting his hand stay put for a second as he stared into my eyes.

If he wasn't wearing a hoodie right now I would have said his collarbone was the most attractive to me, but a close second is his eyes. They, just on their own, talk novels. Deep pools of chocolate lakes and the twinkle of the reflecting light outside. We were so close to one another, our noses dusting lightly. He worked his way through me, just as he did when we first met. His eyes searched for something deeper than the Earth's crust. He wandered into his abditory, just like me.

"When I saw Sap's face in that vehicle... I guess that's when I knew things were going to get better. They definitely did." I briefly paused as he smiled at me, all I wished to do was stare at his face all day and forget what is left behind me. "I mean it took a lot of time, Sapnap had to pull me from a lot of missions at first," I chuckled weakly, tears still streaming down my face following the patterns of the previous one. "I guess that's how I got here... stuck with you." I smirk as he rolls his eyes playfully. It must be a sad sight, tears seeping into the cracks of a smile; freckles flustered with embarrassment.

"You aren't stuck with me." he laughs solemnly and I just watch him, his smile bright. I don't think I've seen him so at peace since our second week together. The time we spent just relaxing and joking around as I wanted to build our relationship. George looks down at his shoes, clearly acknowledging his distance between him and I. His hand that had stayed on my waist plays with the fabric of my shirt while his other trails down my shoulder comfortably. Our chests practically leaned together and it wasn't until my tears dried that we moved. We stood still in silence as the storm raged on outside, I began to sway when I could assure my breathing was steady; George leaned into my embrace immediately.