Taken Innocence, Yet Unbroken

Adulthood

Throughout the years I have had many relationships. Out of all of them, I had 3 in which I have been in love with but the rest were simply the means to an end. The same end I have always kept at the highest priority; survival. I have lost many of my loved ones to death's cruel embrace regardless of my attempts to intervene. Sisters, children, friends, significant others, family and others all had their lives snuffed out before their time had come. I have always been intimately involved with death and the reality that I was alone, could trust no one and had to learn how to survive. Nothing was too shameful or out of the question, so long as it resulted in my survival.

At the age of twenty-one I met my second longest relationship, who for the purpose of this retelling will be called Legna. One could say it was love at first sight. We were both studying in IBC (a college in Puerto Rico). We had seen each other pass but never face to face. This day however, I happened to look up when he did and our eyes locked for what seemed like hours. Time stopped passing and we couldn't see anything other than each other's eyes. After that day we spent every free moment together, we even changed our schedules so we could take the same classes together. We trained (martial arts) together; we cooked together; we did everything together and not long after moved in together. He wanted me to be safe and no longer be at the mercy of my father. We were together for an entire year before things began turning sour. Within this year he had confessed to me that he felt like he was a girl. That he was born from two women and had been kidnapped by the family I knew. That he was born with cat ears and a tail and pink eyes.

I believed it all. I mean I was part of a non-existent military program for part of my childhood so why not? In hindsight, I think I knew most of it was the delusions of a man who felt like a woman forced to repress his true nature due to religious beliefs he didn't even believe in. But he was my partner and if nothing else I am loyal to a fault even to my detriment. So anyone who said he wasn't what he wanted to be had to deal with me. Shortly, after his confession he refused to work, so I took on that role. He turned more and more into a girl in attitude, and dress (I lent him some clothing of mine). We researched what was required in order to have a sex change operation and its costs. He wanted to be a girl that liked girls. We had everything planned he even started taking hormones to grow boobs naturally. But things were slowly turning for the worst. At our two-year mark he began working for my dad behind my back.

We were low on money so he simply looked at me and said "You are already used to it so maybe you could sell yourself and get the money we need?" My heart shattered when he said it but I agreed because he was my mate and I take care of my own at all costs. However, after that I began looking for other possible partners as I refused to go back home or stay with someone who didn't care how much selling myself again would hurt me. I did what I had to in order to get the money for rent that month. From there things just kept getting worst, he wouldn't clean the house anymore, he kept starting meaningless fights, he even stole money from some orders people had made or some of my crafts. We had a fight in which we were close to getting physical in which he confessed he worked for daddy.

I was furious but had no one else I could be with so I continued the keep the relationship as best I could with the thought of finding someone better in mind. Sadly, the next month I was yet again unable to pay for the rent and we ended up moving in with his family, who of course despised me. You see his family was highly catholic although he was a pagan. So, the fact that I was encouraging his unorthodox gender identity was more than a little infuriating to them. However, he had told them if they wanted him back home they had to allow me to stay there or he could cut all communications with them. Albeit reluctantly they agreed, and we moved in. It suffices to say they made my life a living hell. Nothing too serious. The occasional stolen possession, verbal bullying (or an attempt thereof), simple things that piled up to an obnoxious amount.