A Little Story

Finally Telling Her

Sadie's POV

I get home from work, and feel kinda good. I was praised for getting my work done quickly and being assigned more work to do.

I get a greeting from Alyssa, and I laugh at her enthusiastic hug.

"You're in a good mood." She remarks.

"Yeah, I got in good graces with my boss by doing extra work."

"Really? Aren't you always in good graces with him?" She questions.

"Shut up." We share a laugh and then sit down and eat dinner, chicken breast and Mac n cheese. I eat more than I did in the last few days of my plate, I feel even better.

"Feeling up to movie night, tonight?"

"Yeah, sure!"

We sit down on the couch and Alyssa chooses Pocahontas. I tell her to pause halfway through the intro and go grab Marshmallow. Alyssa shakes her head with a smile as she presses play.

We get halfway through before I start regressing. I could feel the fuzziness/blankness of my mind taking over as I watch the colors flash on the screen.

I shift around a bit, and make it so I can hide behind Marshmallow and have my thumb in my mouth.

I end up falling asleep.

....

A little bit later, Alyssa wakes me up.

"Movie is over. Get to bed, you work tomorrow." She says sleepily.

"Okie." I mumble and stumble to my room. I lay down and dig through my stuffed animals to get my binky and don't even bother with turning on my TV. I fall asleep once I have my binky in my mouth and my head hits my pillow.
.......

I get shaken awake.

"Finally you're up! You're gonna be late for work if you don't hurry Sadie!" Alyssa says frantically.

I spit my binky out and thrash myself out of my blankets.

"Crap!" I go to my closet and pick out some clothes quickly. And I rush out the door, not even getting a goodbye from Alyssa.

.........

I get home. I'm tired. I don't even want to eat.

Alyssa says hi, says she's finishing up making dinner.

I say okay and I go to my room.

I forgot this mornings events. Alyssa saw my binky.

She saw it. She saw it. She saw it. She saw it. She saw it. She saw it. She saw it.

Okay. Calm down. Calm down Sadie.

She hasn't said anything yet though. Maybe she didn't pay attention enough and see it?

Nononono. She definitely saw it.

Oh no.

.......

Alyssa calls me for dinner. I don't want to eat. I can't eat. I feel sick.

I tell her that I don't feel good and I'm just gonna eat tomorrow.

She agrees. And walks away.

I get on my bed and cuddle Marshmallow and have my binky in my mouth and put a movie on.

I fall asleep in no time.
..........

I wake up early for no reason. I don't work today. But I do want to stay regressed.

Alyssa walks in with toast on a tray.

She sets it down and says, "eat."

"Ok." I nibble on a piece of toast.

"Soo..."

"Hmm?"

"Why do you have a-uh, binky? I saw it yesterday when I came in to wake you up."

"Uhm.. it's a coping mechanism." I start with. I nibble more, anxiously.

"Ok."

"I age regress to cope with depression and anxiety and stress. I use it as an escape mechanism, it's better than harming myself..."

"But, you still add scabs and scars to the myriad on your arm? How does it help with that?"

"I do those when I'm stressing over something or anxious and I'm not regressed to distract myself. When I'm regressed, it's like a blankness. I can't remember certain things, I forget about ever hurting myself and why I do it. I'm just a child again, no worries, no responsibilities."

"Oh. Sounds nice, actually. To be able to escape like that. Being an adult can be very hard sometimes."

".... yeah.." I set the toast down, not even half-eaten and settle back into my pillows and stuffed animals.

"Eat more, Sadie. You've been losing weight. Please eat." Alyssa practically begs me.

I pick up the toast and take 3 bites. It adds to my sick feeling.

"What do you want to do today?"

"I want to stay in my room and regress for the day, honestly." I somehow say.

"Okay. Why do you want to stay in your room, now that I know about it I don't mind having you regress around me." Alyssa offers.

It's weird to me to have someone know about it, and accept it..

"I think I'll just stay in my room for today. Maybe another time I'll regress around you."

"Okay. Well, I'll be making lunch soon, I'll call you when it's done."

"Alright."

.........

"Food's done!" Alyssa calls an hour later.

I don't bother pulling myself too far out of my headspace, so I'm around 7-8 when I walk to the kitchen and sit down at the table.

Mac n cheese and chicken nuggets.

One of my little foods...

"I read a little on what foods most age regressors like, and this popped up..."

"Thanks, Alyssa." I start eating.

"You're welcome." And that's the end of our conversation.

After finishing eating a little more than half my plate, I rinse it and grab Blink while on my way back to my room.

..........

I take a nap once I regress back down to 2-3, my binky in my mouth and My Little Pony on my TV.
............

I wake up and need to pee. I don't bother taking out my binky, I run to the bathroom and do my business.

I walk out and see Alyssa on the couch, watching me instead of the crime documentary she has on the TV.

I run back to my room.

Embarrassing.

..........

Dinner's here. McDonald's. My happy meal I requested again.

I run out of my room, again with my binky in my mouth and Marshmallow in my arms.

Tonight we eat on the couch with a movie on. Dinner and our movie night combined.

She hands me my happy meal box and I clap my hands excitedly before digging into it and getting all my food out. I give Marshmallow a chicken nugget.

Alyssa giggles, and I pout at her. I took my binky out to eat, it's sitting on the coffee table. I'm nervous, still, about regressing around her, but she's also my best friend so I'm happy she's accepting of it.

We eat in silence. I finish my food and suck on my thumb while I'm entranced (again) in the shapes and colors on the screen. My favorite scene comes up, Belle and the beast are dancing.

I mimic the scene by bouncing Marshmallow in my lap. I giggle at the other characters talking/singing about the pair.

Alyssa just watches me with a slight smile on her face. I look at her and it drops as she focuses her attention on the screen again.

..........