Phan

Kate

He huffed at me, realising he was gonna get no where, and flopped back into my bed.

He let me finish getting dressed, and as I walked out of my room I heard Dan say "Are you sure Phil? I would really like to know. Please Phil." His voice was blunt and dry, slightly dreary too.

I just carried on walking, I went through my door, picked up my keys and left.

As I did so I heard Dan calling out to me. "I love you Phil, for alw-" I slammed the door.

I was unsure about what had happened in there, I had no idea what had caused me to act lie, that. I mean Dan was so sweet, he had said nothing to upset me... Had he?

Fountains were slowly emerging from my eyes, I wondered wether I really should have left at all. I've always needed Dan. And something told me he needed me too. But what was I to do? I couldn't go back, could I? I couldn't just burst in sobbing and expect everything to be forgotten. Dan was a lot more sensitive and kind than he had made himself out to be.

I took a walk out to town tears hidden in the shining sadness in my eyes. I had hoped no one would see me in the hustle and bustle of the street but somehow one of my Philions spotted me.

"PHIL!" She screamed through the crowd, racing towards me. I turned around, adncing in the opposite direction. "Phil" she grabbed me arm, I flinched as the pain of my past flicked my skin taunting me.

She looked into my eyes and said, "Phil, what's up? I can see you're upset, just please tell me what's wrong?" I shook my head and walked off again.

She dragged me to a bench nearby and sat me down.

"I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me." She looked at me, confidence and sympathy overwhelmed her face. "Please."

She reminded me of a female Dan. Her hair was dark brown, her eyes were deep like his, she was tall, like Dan, the only differences being that she was a girl and had glasses, but even the way she spoke sounded like a 'Dan' accent at least. She seemed familiar, as well as being so much like Dan she was also certainly a face I had seen before.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Because," she began "I've been looking out for you! Well kinda anyway. I mean it was me there in Shakaway, and it was me who posted that comment on YouTube which made everyone quiet down about you and Dan. I mean I know what it's like, Phil, I still like my best friend but they'll probably never know. You and Dan have a beautiful relationship! I don't think that should be ruined for anyone. Especially not you two who's lives are being taken down in every computer out there, it's just fair that you're given at least a little privacy right?". "Oh." I responded quietly, shrugging my shoulders thoughtfully. "So just tell me! Please?" "Why?" "Because I still CARE" she shouted at me. I looked at her a minute. "Fine."

I told her about my story, she seemed quite shocked but I was more shocked at the fact she had said she was more inclined to believe me about this since many others who have found out seemed so much in disbelief that they were unable to speak.

"So you've told Dan this right?" She asked me. "Yes" I said bluntly. "So why is it you're in tears?" She asked me. "Because I told him I had stopped, but look..." I rolled up my sleeves in shame as she looked at me with her eyes starting to tear up. Then she rolled up her sleeves, I stared at her arms, the words on them were horrific, the cuts drove me silently into tears. "But why did you-" she interrupted me. "Because they will never know how much I love them. You, on the other hand, can tell him every day you love him. I will never be able to do that, Phil. Never."

She looked away from me, tears flooded ferociously from her eyes. "Kitkat, it's okay." I turned her round to look at me and hugged her. "It will always get better kit, but until then just know you have me by your side." I whispered gently into her ear. "I can't do it Phil." She whispered back through her tears. "I will always be no one to them. Nothing." "You will always be her friend." She wept harder, clearly what I had said was not the right thing...

Then suddenly I heard a ringing in my pocket, Dan. I was pleased to see his name now, but with the weeping Philion beside me I still felt bad to answer. As soon as she realised who I was talking to she started to muffle her tears.

"Dan!" I smiled down the phone.

"Phil! Where are you? Are you okay? What hap-" I interrupted him "I'm fine Dan! Relax! But right now I've got a crying Philion on my shoulder."

I heard Dan move and plump himself on the settee.

"Okay..." He responded, "Can I bring her back to the flat for a bit to make sure she's okay?" "I don't know Phil, have you asked her parents?" I quickly asked her, she shook her head and said "My parents are out of town at the moment, they'll be gone another few days." She trailed off, tears tumbled down her cheeks and turned her skin red as though each drop was a fiery torrent of flames burning through her skin.

--Dan's POV--

I waited for them to return, Phil and his Philion, and gazed out of the 19th story window as I scoured the rain cloud ground for them both.

Suddenly and without warning the front door flew open and bounced violently against the door.

"Dan? It's me!" Phil screamed.

"Jeez Phil! Do you want the whole building to break," I paused a second then remembered, "again?"

"Sorry" he slid a red faced figure into the living room and onto the sofa.

"This is she?" I asked. Phil nodded at me.

She was just there on the sofa, limp and not saying a word.

Phil dragged me into his room and sat me down on the bed as he sat himself down next to me.

"Please tell me why you let a complete stranger walk into our flat." I asked him impatiently. "Because we owe her Dan." He responded. "How?" I asked. "Because she's the one who made everyone who supported and oppose 'Phan' leave us alone! She's the one who saw us in Shakaway the other day and asked for my autograph! She's really sweet and all, so I think for at least giving us back a little bit of our private lives we owe her to stay just for a while until she's quietened down. Until she's able to spend the night at her house without her parents, until she's able to forgive herself for her self mutilation." He rolled up his own sleeves and showed me the fresh cuts on his arms which looked barely a day old. "She told me to tell you the truth, I was hiding this from you which made me nervous, it's why I walked out like that. We sort of owe her our relationship Dan."