It started off with me having to kill any vampire who attacked us. It then escalated little by little. It grew from killing threats to taking the lives of innocents and torturing them. There was always one secret I kept from them and I'm glad I did. I always hated taking lives, but I did it out of what I thought was love, over what I thought was loyalty. At night, It always replayed in my head. Alec always told me that I was just being weak and that if I had enough love for him, it wouldn't bother me. Whenever we were intimate I always got criticized. He'd always tell me that even vampires who weren't his mate could please him more. Anything I could do to make him happy, I did. There were even times he forced me to seduce vampires they wanted to kill. I always felt so disgusting after. He'd tell me to grow up. All I really wanted was support. There were also many times were I found him cheating but I always just shook it off, saying that I didn't please him enough. That never stopped the pain though. I spent many nights in the woods where we met wanting to cry but of course I couldn't. While at the palace I was also subjected to getting bit by vampires. Its one of the most painful things ever. They'd all just laugh and smile though. After I got all the scars, Alec didn't want me at all. I tried everything to get his attention but it never worked. At this point, I was so desperate to earn his love that I'd do anything and they knew that. I was so weak and so broken. That's when they gave me the mission. I denied it for months but Alec convinced me. He kissed me and told me over and over again that he loved me. I never had that before so I did it. I finally thought I gained his love but I was so wrong.
