Better Version | ✓

V

I remember how a day before my last eighth-grade final exam, I bought chocolate for me and Aaron. For us to share it. I was so ready to share it with him and the thought of it was enough to make me the happiest.

I was imagining how he would react to me bringing chocolate for him and us enjoying that moment together. The next day when I went to school, I met him in the morning before the exam was about to begin but I didn't tell him about the chocolate. I couldn't tell him because he was surrounded by his friends and I was simply not that courageous back then.

After finishing my exam, the whole time I kept thinking about Aaron. I would glance at my watch repeatedly waiting for the school bell to ring soon and as soon as it did. I dashed out of the classroom as fast as I could straight to Aaron's classroom. But, he wasn't there.

I searched for him even outside the school and as I said earlier, he wasn't there too. After ten minutes of searching, I finally saw one of Aaron's friends so I went straight to him. There he told me that Aaron was already gone.

All this effort for nothing.

Well since I wasn't going to let that chocolate go to waste, I decided to eat it by myself. Aaron doesn't know about this incident even now but maybe this is the right time to tell him.

"Aaron, do you know I brought chocolate for you once during our exams." I pop the question.

"You did?" He grins, "You're too great."

"But I never got the chance to share it with you since you were in a hurry." I roll my eyes as I taunt him.

"We can share it now," He says.

"Then bring me one in school and we'll share it."

"Done," He responds and before I could even notice, the corner of my lips twitch into a smile.

"What chocolate are you gonna bring me anyway?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"You tell?"

"I am fine with any, all chocolates are perfect."

"True." He says and I can't help but smile a little.

Guess I will finally get to share that chocolate with him for which I have been waiting for almost three years. I am not letting this chance go.

He is probably going to finish reading that diary anytime soon. I am kinda hoping for him to react to it neutrally. I don't want to hear what cringe stuff my eighth-grade self wrote for him. Not all of it is cringing but most of it? Yes.

Sometimes I wonder if Aaron could read my mind back then would he have thought that my mind is cringed too? Solely because of how I thought about him, almost all the time. Maybe yes, he would have probably thought about how obsessed I was with him. Though obsessed might not be the right word. Love - "this is the term."

Aaron does this. Every time I am not able to find the correct term for some situation, he would say the correct term on my behalf and would then say, "this is the term." I just find it so attractive when he understands me like that.

Although sometimes I wish that I could read Aaron's mind. Only to know if he thinks the same about me as I do or if he even thinks about me. I will never know the answer to that but one day I would love to hear it from Aaron, "Yes Skylar, I do think about you too."

If only something like this could ever happen to me or maybe it will just stay as a part of my many fake scenarios.

I remember liking Aaron since sixth grade and yes, he knows that I like him. What I liked the most was when he confessed that he likes me too. That day has probably been one of the best days of my life.

Aaron
Likes
Me.

No, I wasn't dreaming and at that moment, I was ready to scream at the top of my lungs. He said that. Aaron said that to me.

This incident was the first thing I wrote about in my diary. I am so completely fascinated by him that if given the chance I could literally talk about him for hours.

I love how he's so passionate about everything he loves to do. How he's so funny and cares for people who matter to him. How can a person be so good at almost everything he does?

I remember how I once told him that he doesn't know what I want and he responded with "I will find out, don't worry." I told him to find out what I want he might just have to read my favourite books and he agreed. I think for this incident, I will just have to say "Aaron you're so goddamn attractive no matter how many times I will call you an idiot. In my mind, I will keep admiring you a thousand times or more." 

"Are you finished reading, Aaron?" I ask.

"Yes, done." He replies, closing the diary. 

"It was cringe, right?" I catch sight of Aaron who is simply just smiling. I wonder what he must be thinking.

"Not that cringe." That was all he said.

He was lying probably because if the writer herself thinks that their diary is cringed then it most probably is. He will never admit it though and he doesn't have to but the least I can do is make it up to him for this.

So I tell him, "I will write a better version for you, Aaron."

•••

And I wrote the better version.