Goodbye.

Is this goodbye?

We can find another way. You and I both know that. -O

He's an idiot if he thinks I'm going to let him get away with sacrificing himself. And definitely not to Kira, no less. It is my job to keep him safe, and that is exactly what I intend to do.

Orion, stop being stubborn. There is no other way. This is the way it must be. -L

He said it so calmly. How can he say that so calmly? We are talking about his life here. Our lives.

Baby, please. Don't do this. You don't have to do this. You and I are geniuses, we can find a way out of this... -O

He had a pained expression on his face while I said this. Looking back on it now, I know that it was because he knew I'm right. There were options other than accepting his death. However, with the way things were going, he couldn't find a way out of this. No matter what he tried, Light was going to kill him sooner or later. The only way to prevent that was to let me kill Light, and he did not want to do that. That was not a viable option, though I'd have loved to do it.

No. I've thought about it enough. There isn't another option. Please, you have to understand. If I don't do this, Kira will never be brought to justice. -L

I can't breathe. Why is he doing this to me?

You're so fucking stubborn. Why don't you care enough to see what this will do to me? I can't live without you, L. This will kill me. -O

It won't kill you. Don't be dramatic. -L

Dramatic? I'm being dramatic? He's trying to fucking sacrifice his life! The same life I've dedicated the past 14 years of my own trying to protect. The same life I've spent the past 10 years adoring.

You will live. You will move on. Get out of this business, I know you never liked it. You've only been in all of this because you want to be near me. -L

He's making it sound like I'm a clingy schoolgirl. I am a grown ass man who doesn't want the only person who's ever treated him like a human being to die. I'm in this stupid fucking crime-solving bullshit because he loves it, and I love him. 

Wow. -O

What? -L

That was harsh. -O

It was true. -L

Actually, it wasn't accurate, and it was fucking mean. That was a low blow. You know that. -O

L looked away from me. I felt like he was crying, though I couldn't see his eyes. 

Why isn't he responding to me? Is it because he agrees? God, I hope he's changing his mind. I want to read his mind but I can't hear; I'm too hysterical. Fucking hell. 

After a long pause, he turned back to me, fighting tears.

I know. I'm sorry. -L

I broke down into struggled sobs. I was trying to hold them back and be strong for him, but I couldn't. 

He wrapped his arms around me, holding me as I cried. 

I love you, Orion. I wish there were something that could be done to prevent what's about to happen. -L

He placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. 

You deserve so much better than what you've gotten. Please never forget that. -L

I felt his tears falling onto my hair. I hugged him as tightly as I could. We stood there together, crying and holding each other for a little while until we both calmed down a bit.

I truly do love you. -L

I know. -O

Please don't leave me. I can't be alone again. 

I'll never say that to him.

I kissed him on the forehead. I wasn't sure if I would ever have the opportunity to do that again. 

I want some time alone, if you don't mind. I want to process some things on my own before I.. go. -L

God. The way he paused before saying "go"... nothing more gut-wrenching than that. 

I don't want him to go.

Of course, darling. Take your time. -O

Thank you. -L

There was a long and thick silence. He hesitated to walk away.

L? -O

Yes, love? -L

Is this goodbye? -O

L broke down. He started bawling. I threw my arms around him and we sat on the floor. 

Baby, it's okay. Everything is going to be alright. I promise. -O

He continued to cry.

Goodbye isn't forever, mon amour. I promise you, I'll find you again. We'll be okay. -O

I don't want to have to comfort him. I don't want him to die. 

L sniffled, trying to stifle his sobs.

I'm not ready to die. -L

I know baby. Nobody ever is. -O

The words flowed out of my mouth before I could think about them. Comforting him was like a second nature to me, after all these years. Though, this time, it hurt me a lot more than it ever had before.

The two of us gathered ourselves back up one last time. We gave each other a goodbye kiss, but not like we always had in the past. I tasted his grief on his lips, and I'm sure he tasted mine too. A goodbye kiss that was the most emotional one to ever happen between us. 

I love you, L. -O

I love you too. Thank you for everything. -L

Until death do us part, my dear. We may never have gotten legally married, but I vowed that to you from the start. -O

I can't breathe. Please don't leave me.

There are no words to describe the moment we had after this. Looking at each other, but no eye contact. It was poetic. Two lovers taking in the beauty that is their other half, one last time. 

It seems this is goodbye. -L

Goodbye won't last forever. Not when it's us. -O

I hope that is the case. But for now, goodbye. Thank you for giving my life more meaning than I could have ever imagined. -L

Same to you. See you on the other side, my friend. May we fall in love again in our next life. -O