TW for mention of SA!!
i'm feeling a little unhinged and made this after a breakdown and it brought me comfort so i hope it can for others.
y/n sits on the couch watching tv as her friends do their own thing, talking amongst themselves. she's watching a criminal show about the FBI who catch murderers and bad people, when a scene showing a woman getting coerced into doing something she doesn't want to do comes on.
she's not sure why, but instantly her heart rate picks up, and she tries her best to focus on anything but the screen.
"stop fighting me! just relax." the man on the tv said. even thought it's fake, it still makes y/n wildly uncomfortable. she stands and makes a b-line for the door, but sun, who's was practicing his cartwheel in the foyer, (not watching the show) asks her where she's going.
"i'm gonna get some air." she says, walking with furrowed brows to the front porch. once she steps outside she sits down on the steps, staring down at her shoes.
i didn't want to think about this again.
she tried to push it down, to forget about it in hopes it would go away or she'd forget. but hearing those words, the same words spoken to her, she can't handle it, it's all too much.
she bares her teeth as she tries to keep down her sobs, her eyes brimming with tears. she can't help but replay the memory in her head, each time making her physically flinch. she has to stop playing those memories. but something keeps drawing her back, almost like she enjoys it.
she did most definitely not enjoy it. but maybe she did? why did her body respond the way it did if she didn't enjoy it? she secretly enjoyed it... didn't she? so how can she cry about it, like a poor victim.
i AM a victim! i didn't enjoy it! did i?
she wraps her arms around her legs, rocking back and forth. the cold creeping up her legs and down her back helps to distract her, but it's still not enough.
"hey, sunshine what are you-" a hand on her shoulder startles her.
"ah! don't touch me!" she shouts. shes not mad at him, she's just overwhelmed, which makes her feel rather overstimulated. and not in a good way.
"hey, are you okay?! you looked upset earlier so i-" he tries but she just waves him off.
"i'm fine, please leave me alone." she says, rubbing her palms which are soaked in sweat over her pants.
"oh-alright... if you're sure." he sounds hurt, but she doesn't even notice because of her current mental war going on. she just wishes she could turn her mind off, to stop remembering.
but even now he has a hold over her, one she can't shake.
"wait, sun. i'm sorry, i'm just having... bad memories." he turns back and sits next to her, tucking her hair that falls in her face behind her ear.
"what kind of memories, sweetheart?"
"sun i was... assaulted when i was a child. do you know what that means?" she says, mustering the courage to look into his face.
"i...know what assault means." he confirms.
"well... my assault wasn't just physical it was sexual. meaning, an adult forced me into sexual stuff as a kid that i obviously didn't want to do. i wasn't even aware of what they were doing... a-and seeing that show... hearing those words... it's exactly what he said to me. and it sent me back to that time, when i was helpless." she chokes on her words, and her eyes tear as she ends.
sun says nothing, making her look up out of curiosity. y/n startles when she sees suns eyes burning red, like moon's did back at the pizzaplex. it scares her for a moment, maybe he's corrupt. but that thought is instantly forgotten when her reason reminds her it's impossible.
the red fades as quickly as it came, and he looks down at her, raising a hand to her face. he cups her cheek oh-so gently, with such tenderness and care she's never felt before.
"my sweet girl. you didn't deserve that. i hope whoever did that to you suffers for the rest of their miserable lives for what they did." his voice turns into a growl, making y/n grow a bit uneasy. she's never heard sun talk like he is.
"i really can't imagine the pain you must be in... oh, sunshine." y/n's lip quivers as he speaks, and as he pulls her into his lap she bursts into tears.
"i know... you're safe now, i promise." she buries her face in his chest, feeling overwhelmed with her emotions. her family isn't the type to talk about things, so the whole idea of comfort and talking openly is foreign to her.
so she's thankful to have them in her life now, especially sun. he's so sweet and open, something she wish she could be like. it was hard at first, for her to open up, or even enjoy talking about her feelings. but made herself do it, and slowly it got a little bit easier each time.
"he wouldn't stop, sun. he forced me, and he RUINED me! he made me dirty! i will never be the same." she cries.
"oh, no no, dear! don't say that. what that man did to you has nothing to do with who you are, you're sense of humor or how you like to prank moon and i, you're a great person and it was all you! you are in control of your own body, he had nothing to do with it." she lays her head on his plush chest as she listens to him talk. he rubs her back as he does so.
"you're right. but the pain... the mental battles won't go away." she sighs. sun doesn't respond but simply cuddles her closer to himself, rocking her from side to side.
"do you want to know something, sunshine?" he says, gently taking her hand into his large one and holding it palm up in front of her.
"your cells replace themselves constantly, everywhere on your body! and supposedly, after seven years, you have an entirely new body!" he pokes her arm and makes her giggle weakly as he does so.
"so seven years after that event... you will be entirely and completely new." he closes his fist with hers in his hand, making her hand look extremely tiny in comparison to his.
two tears drop onto his hand from her cheeks, making him use his other hand to wipe them from her face. for being 3x her size, he is incredibly gentle with her, more gentle anyone has ever been. it's pathetic, she thinks, how this robot brings her more comfort and stability than her own parents did in y/a years.
"how about we go get in bed and cuddle, okay?" he says, bouncing his legs to get her attention. she nods and stands to her feet, avoiding eye contact as she stands in front of him. he takes her hands gently in his once more, making her look up.
"it's not going to go away tonight, sunshine. it takes time. please be patient with yourself, and let your mind rest, okay?" he says, making her nod. he then jumps to his feet and picks her up-after asking for her permission- and carries her up to her bed.
"there we are, all tucked in and cozy! should i get moon?" he stands over her with his hands on his hips, grinning with his usual giddiness back in full swing.
"no, i'd just like to be with you tonight if that's okay." she says, making him nod.
"of course! let me get the light." he says, before skipping over and switching it off. he skips back over, and sits on the bed, gently guiding her to lay her head on his lap. she does so, and even cracks a smile as he plays with her hair while telling her stories of the pizzaplex.
