The Liability

Chapter 19

Louisa's POV

Stepping out of the shower after Hugo, I can't help the blush that paints my cheeks. Without much time he wraps a towel around me.

All of these mushy feelings, and all of these darker desires and fantasies... I need to maintain control over.

I'm no fool. A guy like him doesn't suddenly stop his ways of being a womanizer, and become suddenly monogamous, or want to be in a relationship. It's not that I wanted a relationship after this one thing, but knowing he'd never consider it makes it more important for me to protect myself from developing any attachment.

As I walk out of the bathroom, I stop in front of the big window. Longingly looking out, dreading the mere reality of the present. Quickly getting off track in my mind and getting frustrated I come back to what I was initially thinking about. Him.

My attention however is suddenly shifted when I hear movement. I turn around to meet his eyes, a reminder of the sensations and feelings he made me feel that I'd never known or thought to be possible.

I hated myself for it. I hated how much I wanted more, because I knew that wasn't his style, so I try to push the images and fantasies clouding my mind of him fucking me with his fingers, and suppress the effect of these thoughts by clenching my thighs.

Clearing my throat, his gaze is set back to mine as he continues readying himself for work. "I just wanted to, er- needed to say, that you don't need to worry about last night" I say with feign airiness.

He stops what he is doing and looks at me intently and curiously. I continue "what I mean is, I know that you aren't the kind of guy to do this more than once. And I understand it's because it complicates things, and I've seen the women that leave your room and rarely is it ever the same one." I drift off. "I guess I'm trying to reassure you because I don't want you to think I will be worked up over this or devastated if you decide to forget all of this happened and act like it didn't matter."

I finish, "I really enjoyed last night, and I know it was only me receiving the pleasure, but you showed me something, and introduced me to sensations that I've never experienced, and if this is the only time, I want to say that I will never forget it."

I expect him to say something, just fucking something, but instead he is still, and I mean completely still. Not moving, and not saying anything. He hasn't moved for a bit now in which now, coupled with the silence, leaves me a bit embarrassed. So much so that I would like to crawl into a hole or jump out of my skin.

Shit

I totally just made things weird. He probably wasn't even thinking about those things before I brought it up. Oh shit.

My brain is sent into a panic. And I, being unable to wait in such anticipation and unknowingness, begin to recognize when a bitch needs to run. And let me tell you, this bitch ran.

Clutching my towel I turn around and open the door, stepping into the hallway where I run to my room.

I couldn't risk anyone seeing me walking, none of that would fly. Especially not from his room, so the sprint was a necessary.

Finally making it to my room I sit down on the ottoman in front of my bed, I'm winded, and trying to catch my breath, while cursing myself out for being so awkward, I ruined this entire thing without any help.

I don't even know what to do. I get up and lay on my back in bed snuggling into the pillow as I look at the stars scattered across my ceiling. I'm so comfortable that I can't even be bothered to move. I'm sure most people also shower and then get distracted while still in a towel. For me the distracted part is longer than the actual shower. But now, being in the privacy of my room, it doesn't matter what I do. Without too much thought I reach for the brush I left on my nightstand, and brush through my long tangled hair until it is knotless.

Swiftly and tiredly I twirl and weave the strands of my hair into a french braid of sorts, and get up briefly to get dressed with a pair of underwear, a bra, and socks. I am a socks to bed type of person. Sue me.

Tucking myself under the blankets, I am surprised by how tired I am and can't stop myself from falling asleep. Escaping the ridiculous worries and nerves, as I without any plan to do so, sleep through the whole day.