youthful dreams of healing wounds

do what you want (Ei)

Major tw in this for past hospitalisation and suicide attempt!!

A week passes by and as a result, Ei finds herself heading back for another group.

Beside her is Miko, who's currently talking to her about some prick who commented on her blog saying one of the stories on it sucked. They usually always walked to sessions together.

About the story, Miko didn't write it herself, says it's too much of a hassle, but rather it was a work one of her followers made and Yae reposted it.

Still, she thinks it's embarrassing for a man who's twice their age to be making rude comments on some teens' work just because he dislikes it.

Miko goes on to say some more things probably on a similar topic which Ei would be listening to right now if her mind wasn't trying to swallow her whole.

It wasn't that Ei was nervous or anything of the sort, she couldn't be, especially since she's been down this same route countless times.

It's just the thought of all these emotions she's worked so hard to kindle down, having to resurface every session is what upsets her. And since that fact has remained unchanged since day one it's always why she's still being made to attend the program.

When Ei's pace begins to slow down, Miko stops in her tracks, pausing on her mini-rant to check up on Ei. "You okay?" Her voice is gentle and sweet. Her right hand lightly brushes against Ei's.

From the question alone Ei wants to break down but she had already done that last week so for the sake of not being a mess, she gathers herself together and answers with a simple nod. "Mmhm, I'm fine."

She and Miko have always been close.

They had met in a psych ward not too long after Makoto's death due to Ei attempting to take her life for what definitely wouldn't be the last time either. Though it was her first time being in hospital for reasons other than her sister.

Ei hated it. She remembers how much she cried on the first night in the ward. Probably the most emotion she had shown in weeks.

She missed her sister so much. And now with what just happened? She had right to think she could fill the role Makoto had as the eldest.

While Ei was having her silent breakdown, Miko, who at the time she unknowingly shared a room with, slipped between the doors.

She looked much different to the Miko Ei knew now. Her hair was messy and she wore the typical fashion trend of stringless clothing similar to the other patients.

"Whoever's lying down in my bed right now better have a good excuse because I'm not in the mood for this right now." She said, already prepared to get into an argument with whatever kid thought it was funny to invade her space.

Though when she lifted the blankets to reveal a sobbing Ei her face softened and all she could breathe out was,

"Oh."

Her voice wasn't nearly as grand or dramatic as it was mere seconds ago. If anything she almost sounded like she felt bad for Ei.

Sighing, Miko sat herself down on the opposite bed.

"Oh so you're the new kid. You weren't at dinner earlier. They chart those kinds of things down, you know."

Ei sniffled. Her throat felt like it wanted to close in on itself. "I don't like it here."

"I know. Nobody does, but if you don't listen to what they say you'll have to stay in this shithole even longer."

She didn't say anything more and Yae mentally took note of the fact that her new roommate wasn't the talkative type.