Unedited

Me and My Emperors; Suitors Quest

Hi! I am Kaila and I will soon be 21. This means that I will soon have to get married. The thing is I have no suitors yet and I need to choose my two partners before my birthday in six month. That's why I'm leaving my house today for my suitors quest.
It's not something rare for a girl to go on a suitors quest, but I thought I wouldn't have to, since I'm from the nobility.

I'm the second daughter of a powerful countess. This should mean that I shouldn't have any problem finding someone, but I couldn't find anyone I loved among the people who came to ask me to marry them. It's such a bother that I need to find two men. It would have been so much easier if it was just one. Why does women needed to be 1 third of the people on Earth? I guess it's not that bad since it's because of that that we are a matriarchal society. If there were more women, men would have given us less power when proposing to us and marriage would have been less favorable for women.

With my status I could pretty much marry anyone I want from a non-noble to an emperor.
For reasons I don't understand, being a second girl gives me more power than being the first born, but I don't want power. I just want to find true love. It's hard to find it since I know that people are around me because I'll be a powerful woman in the future. That's why I decided I'll be incognito on my suitors quest. I don't want anyone to know that I'll be the next countess of Feyeria.

I still wonder who I'll end up marrying. Will they be handsome? Will they be kind, gentle and clever? Will they be nobles or not? I guess none of this matter. The important is that I find someone to love. I could just love one of them and choose the other one randomly. Or let the man I'll love choose my second husband. I don't know who I'll end up with, but I have to find someone before my birthday. If I don't find the men I'll love, I want to at least be the next countess. But if I want to become the official heir, I need to be engaged before my 21th birthday. What a dilemma. So, no matter what, I need to be engaged before my birthday even if I don't love those men. I really wish I will love both of them, but this world might be unfair to me.

— Bonna, make the last preparations. We're leaving in two hours.

I like Bonna. She's my personal maid and probably also my best friend. If a noblewoman could marry a woman, I would chose her. This is unfortunately not the case. If I do marry her, I'll lose all rights to a noble title. And I don't love her enough to give up my title of heiress of the earldom. It's not illegal to marry someone of the same gender of us, but noblewomen lose their nobility if they do. I prefer men anyway, but it's still a shame. I just don't understand why it's okay for two noblemen to marry but not for two noblewomen. I guess it does make sense in our society, since in a man-man marriage they just need a woman to be perfect, but it doesn't work the other way around.
"Women should not be wasted in a uni-gender union."
That's their explanation... We do have more power, but we also have a lot more responsibilities.
"If we don't have a girl, we need to have at least three children."
"We need to be married before 21 if we want to be the heiress of our family."
"The second girl have more power than the first."
"Women are the head of the house, so they have the responsibility of it."
"Women are the ones who choose their husbands."
"To be officially recognised as a noblewoman we need to have at least two husbands."
"A peasant girl can be recognised as noble if she has two husbands or more and at least one of them is from a noble family."
There's so much rules for a noblewoman to follow, but almost none for noblemen. I guess I just don't focus on them since I'm not a man...
"A man can only rule over his family if there is no women in it."
"A man can only be an heir if he doesn't have any sisters."
"When a man gets married his title is shared with his wife."
"The man give all his power to his wife once married."
"A man can only rule if he doesn't have any wife or if his wife let him do it."
I pity men now that I think about the rules they have to follow. They barely have the choice to decide their wife. They can propose to a woman, but in the end the choice lies in her hands. They need to live with the fact that their wife have one or many other husbands. They have to give up their power once married. More I think about it, more I feel sorry for men. I can just imagine what it would have been like if it was the other way around. The idea does feel wrong though, and it's hard to imagine, but I do understand how men must feel.

— Everything is ready, young masteress!

— Right in time! Thank you, Bonna. Though, I did ask you to call me by my name. And I won't be called "young masteress" for much longer anyway.

— I wouldn't dare to do that.

— It doesn't matter. Let's just go, shall we?

— Of course, my lady!

I do prefer when she call me "my lady" than "young masteress". When I think about it, there's a hierarchy among women and another among men. There is also the men and women social differences. All of those are based on... nothing, really. It doesn't even make any sense in fact, but I don't care. It's not like I want nor have the motivation and power to change social norms. Let's just put on my cloak and go. My suitors quest is more important than those useless ideas at the moment. I'll have all the time I want for stupid thoughts later on.