is this why pappa drinks so much? so he can drink the pain away? weirdly enough, i'm starting to feel like i understand him. there's many other ways to deal with trauma, but doing this seems much easier. it's faster, and it works.
nothing will ever convince me to forgive him. i just understand him. he did lose mamma also. but that shouldn't allow him to abuse me. mamma's death affected both of us, but it seems like it affected me much worse.
pappa has a drinking problem, he's in a gang, but he doesn't wake up covered in bruises, he'll never understand how it feels to be hurt by someone he used to trust. maybe pappa and i are alike. we both do stupid things to forget. either hurting yourself or hurting someone else.
i wonder if he knows i'm depressed. if he has any idea how im feeling, just like mamma. maybe he does and just chooses to ignore it. i wish both of our lives went another way. he doesn't allow me to speak to mormor or any family member. i have no way of contacting them either.
i miss them though. i miss christmas with my whole family, and when we were all happy. i miss the love we had for one another.
i miss the feeling of someone caring.
YOU ARE READING
athena
Short Storya diary she fills with her life. TW: ed, abuse, alcoholism, guns, drugs, r*pe, lots of suicidal thoughts, mentions of sh+doing, body dysmorphia, mentions of death. beware, these are serious topics, and please don't talk about them if you haven't exp...
