VILLAGE IDIOTS follows five barely functioning adults as they try to protect their village from stray cats, a nit epidemic, the elusive Litterer and other catastrophes.
After countless village hall meetings, the Mayor of Dunfler ordered that a smal...
NADIA SHAH has been a part of the Neighbourhood Watch a short while after it was conceptualised and put in place, although through no choice of her own. As time went on, she actually enjoyed not having to do much, and was a big part in making the group what it is today—a bunch of adults lounging around doing nothing. This party animal has turned 'HQ'—more commonly known as the abandoned news agents, into the perfect place for parties. You will almost always see her with a phone in her hand, recording videos and vlogs to share online.
THOMAS OLIVIERA joined the Neighbourhood Watch only a few months after Nadia, and had big dreams for it. Sensible and hardworking, Thomas wanted to transform the humble little village of Dunfler into a bustling hive of socialisation, as well as tackle the judgemental mindsets of some of its members. Nowadays, his aim is much different. He's just trying to hold the mess that is the Neighbourhood Watch group together. Prayer, guided meditation, manifesting—he needs it all, so form an orderly line for the Thomas Oliviera Protection Squad sign up area please and thank you.
AMANDADENNIS joined about a two years into the scheme, and is quite possibly the sweetest woman you will ever meet. She lived the life most people in the village did—she cared for her family and attended village hall meetings regularly. She gave up her home baking business after getting married, and although she was saddened by it at first, she had since come to accept the changes in her life. After waving her daughter off to university, and her husband leaving her, Amanda decided to fill the void with more devotion to the community, which led to her joining the Neighbourhood Watch group.
CORRINE GREEN joined about a year into the scheme, and is a fiery alpha female who will fight someone about the tiniest inconvenience. She is a thorn in Nadia's side, and the pair regularly butt heads. She doesn't care what people think about her. Growing up in care, Corrine had to fight for herself often, so she made it her mission to fight for kids like her. She joined the Neighbourhood Watch to keep an eye on the care kids who frequent the playground late at night.
ISAACEVANS is the latest member of the Neighbourhood Watch, and also the least trusted. He is Thomas' ex, and let's just say, the breakup was messy. Having been apart of the Neighbourhood Watch for six months now, the group have chosen to forgive him, and they get on with him for the most part, although they will always take Thomas' side in any argument they have. The ex couple are civil with each other, but things are definitely still awkward and tense at times. He joined the Neighbourhood Watch after his mother said he needed to get out of the house more.
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A/N: I'm so excited to share this story with you! As always, sensitive topics will be covered in this, so please be aware of that before reading! Although the village is fictional, it may include some British slang. I will try to add translations at the end of each chapter, but hopefully you can still understand it without them.
I would also like to say a massive thank you to my friend starryeyedturtle for helping me with aspects of village life and general writing advice. Obviously I will be adding my own spin on it, but I couldn't have written this without her help. I hope I do it justice for you! I highly recommend checking her account out and reading her books—she's a phenomenal writer and such an awesome person!
I've decided to dedicate this book to her, not only for the countless times she's helped me with my writing, but also for the love and kindness she has shown me and many others. She leads with kindness always, and I really believe that if people have her as a friend, their lives are better for it. Whilst this is dedicated to her, I wouldn't have felt anywhere near as confident to publish this if it wasn't for all of the incredible people who took a chance on my books. You've really helped with my confidence. So, this is for all of you too!
