(Even if it's) Just For Tonight

Part 1

I don't want to miss a single beat of your heart, Claire.

It's been a while since I've let myself become close to anyone. Except for Foggy and perhaps now Karen, I haven't even had any friend in constancy since Law School. It has been so long since I have let myself go like this.

There was a woman once. I fell for her ferocity, for her feline like nature. I let her encompass me in her warmth; in the burning flush of her cheeks against mine. She had a spirit of rebellion and adventure that encouraged a dying fire inside of me.

It wasn't long after I had decided that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her that she needed to leave.

We waited for her plane together. We held one another. We shared one last moment of hungry fire. I thought our embrace could melt the winter that swirled around us...and she was gone. I was a young man once again punished. For letting his wild part run free.

Her tears left scars on my lips. But they healed, nevertheless.

It has been such a long time, Claire, since I have craved anything like I crave your heartbeat. When I am near you, I feel like I'm being pulled towards you, and to fight the urge would shatter me into a trillion broken pieces.

I want to be close to you in every way. I want to protect you from the world. You know what I do, and I don't know if I can keep you safe if I keep you close to me.

There is so much danger in by my side in Hell's Kitchen. There is so much conflict in each of our hearts. There is so much that needs to be talked about. There is so much that I know will not happen, between us.

And yet, I want every breath you exhale to mingle with my own, tonight. I want your body pressed up against mine so that we forget where our own limbs end and where one another's begin. I want our hearts to beat as one, even if it is just for tonight.

And I know you want that too, Claire. I can hear your heart beat now.

And it's just up against my own, now.

And I am ready for this now, even if it is just for tonight.