Written in my Heart: Sash

Chapter 5: New Activities

Following day during a way home from school, Sash told me what Mr. Matrak had told her. She had thought about his words much and they had changed her. Mr. Matrak was a wise man, I thought, when he was able to influence her. He said that she looked like an average girl. But there is nothing like the average girl in the world. Each girl is unique, so is each boy. God did not create two same men, even twins are not the same. She is unique. And there are other unique people around her. First she had to accept herself, the way she is created by God, and then other people. She has to allow to each person around her to be unique by his or her own way.

And then Sash told him about her family, brother and friends...and about me. And she told him, that when she had met me, she thought that I am the same as her. That she had found somebody who can really understand her... But it looked like I could not. And without me she is again alone, again just only her...

I wanted to tell her something, but I got a lump in my throat. It did not allow me to say a word and my eyes were watering. I could not look at her. I tried not to blink. I wanted to be special just for her...but she thought I am not anymore. There was no way I can make myself wiser...I already checked in books, with the doctor. And I thought about her the same way. She was my first real friend, my connection with the other people. Max was my friend because of her. I was also alone before I met her. There was not time for my thoughts she continued to interpret her conversation with Mr. Matrak.

He told her, that maybe she feels that the way she is unique is more difficult than others. And that can be sometimes true. People can have difficulties to understand her and of course it could be the same vice versa. So, she can feel lonely. But these kids, teachers, friends, even her family,... they all try to understand her but their effort without her help is just worthless. It depends on her. She has to find words to their hearts and brains, to have love for them and patience to explain her point of view, her thoughts.

She had to think about it, and take her time for it. Her wisdom is a gift, something she got without her effort, gift of God. She did not pay for it; she did not get it because she was special, or very good, or clever, or helpful. It was for a free, without any conditions... just like some people are gifted in some artistic talents, or born with some handicap.

It is not good or bad gift. It depends on her. She can use her gift and makes it blessing. Lot of information was clear for her, lots of problems around she could understand just by a single look. She could help people in many ways. So she did not have to be angry or even unhappy, because of that, but thankful.

And she could try to help people not to hurt them. But first she had to try to understand them, to know them. She knows a lot of things from the books she has read and it is pretty important and interesting of course. But she has to know people too, to understand them, to love them and then she could easily help them using her uniqueness.

She had to consider it. Life was here and now! Nobody knew how much time was there for him. And he told her that she had to treat all people with respect, no matter if she was smarter, they all are God's children.

She was quiet for a few minutes. We already did not walk. We were standing in front of the gate to their house.

Then she proclaimed: "I'm gonna change myself. You hear? I will be a different person. I will try to be person that deserves God's gift." She grabbed my wrist and forced me to look at her face. "And first I wanna change my behaviour to you. Because this is my life, now and here and you are my best friend."