It's Not A Love Story | Yeonbin

41

Yeonjun arrived to the apartment complex. He subconsciously went to Soobins place with out realizing. His aching heart stung even more as he started at the closed door. "What's are you doing Jun?" He mumbled questioningly to himself. He was so used to going over to Soobins apartment room that with out knowing, that's were his legs took him. He sighed and turned away now going up to the next level. He went into his own place and tossed his body weight onto the couch. He didn't bother to turn on the lights yet it still shined bright from the evening sun shinning in through the window. He wanted to lay there for ever, maybe he could find peace with himself if he did. Though he didn't cry, his eyes stung and burned red no tears escaped. That was due to the growing numbness in his body.

Yeonjun staid laying back on the couch. He wanted to drift of to sleep as a means to avoid the built up stress. That was at least one sensation he could still feel. Though he wasn't able too sleep because he heard little chips coming from the box that sat next to the window seal. Suddenly his soft smile was back as he pulled the cover off and looked into the cardboard to see the blue bird chipping at him.

"You feeling better little guy?" He hesitantly reached his finger in and once he saw the bird didn't react he knew he was aloud to touch him. He stroked his finger gently across its head and feathery back. "It's good to see you're eating well." He talked about the empty food dish. He knew he would refill it after giving the small creature affection. He was hoping with the care he showed that maybe the bird will do a full recovery and be able to fly on its own. Until then he promised to look after it.

Yeonjun smiled softly to the sining bird. Something about it's song finally made the tears swell up. At once, he was able to let it all out, the wave of sadness rushing over him. It was at first a silent sob, through a broke smile and gentle gaze. He moved his hand away and rested his head on the window seal. He looked out to the foggy faded city. The lights didn't shine as brightly now that the clouds different slowly pass. It was so peaceful, so quiet, so still. It just hurt worse, the silence consumed his mind. It made him break.

His bottom lip stuck out in a quiver. He was sitting on his knees looking out to the sky. He ran his hand over his chest where his heart sat, tugging at his clothes as they burned his skin. Everything burned. His cheek even started to sting as well did his knee that had dry blood stained on it. He knew he should go and disinfect it however his legs where to shake and weak to move. If he tried he would just collapse back down, only crying harder. His cheeks were puffy and his face turned pale from all the heavy sobs and chokes he let out. His eyes were so glassed over that his vision became blurred, it looked as if he were staring into a crystal sea. All he saw was the faded weight lines from the window until eventually he buried his face down into his arm.

He hid his tears, he didn't want the blue bird too see in case it would make him sad and damage his chances of recovery. Though he was now growing loud, gasping for air that he couldn't seem to find. His throat burned, it was tight and hot just like the knot inside his gut. His ears rang and felt a heated sting as-well.

In that moment he knew what true lonely ness was like. He thought back to the stories he wrote. He always put his characters through extreme pain and heartache though he never knew this is what it felt like for them. In a way he felt guilty for doing such thing to them, as if they could really feel his pain. He almost chuckled for a moment, letting his thoughts get carried away. What was he to do now?

~~

Soobin looked to the sky shifting around him. He stayed where the event happened, just watching the world move slowly. He smiled too it, he once felt at the top of it all, he had everything he could ever want right in the palm of his hand. He had Yeonjun, he was so sure if their future together but now he wasn't. He wondered if the boy was thinking the same, if he was okay. Suddenly any anger Soobin once felt was washed away like the melting snow.