Tough Love

Vibes like this

Friday 1:01 am 

Dear Diary

Sometimes I just sit in my room and just vibe out to music, with my led lights on red, lights turned off, spark a blunt and just listen to my music. It would be vibes like this that just does something to me. Most of the time I wish I had a boyfriend to do stuff like this with it would be so much better laying up under my man smoking a blunt and just vibing while listening to music.
But I guess it's good to have dreams, right? Aha...y'all I'm high ass fuck. I like when I'm high it sends me to another place and make everything go away...Hmm what's that post I always see on AIM? "A BLUNT A DAY TAKE THE PAIN AWAY" weed help me escape and not think, I mean I think about life but not about what happened to me... I keep a journal so that I could write my thoughts down cause if I don't, I would go crazy, or at least I think I would.
Nights like this I wish I had my mom, but I know she's watching me and I know she's proud of me. For not letting my past turn me into a monster, mama would always say "A man come and goes he may do as he please, but we never chase them we replace them."

That line right there always helped me keep my guard up when it came to the boys. I'm educated and graduated and, on my way, as I like to say. YOOOO that rhymed. But this isn't even half of my story shall we continue? I went to sleep that night high ass f*ck as usual. I woke up at six am in the morning and made me a nice bowel of cereal and a protein shake and went on a jog. 

I jog every morning just to keep my mind on the right track and it also helps not to think about anything. But as I was jogging I wasn't paying attention and bumped into this guy, he was tall and muscular brown skin and very very cute he had waves big lips and a bearded-

"HEY? are you okay I wasn't paying attention" he said holding his hand out to lift me up.

"I'm okay I'm sorry to I also wasn't paying attention" I said slightly laughing. 

He was staring me up and down pretty much checking me out-

"EYES up here bucko" I said rolling my eyes.

He laughed and said "my bad shorty you just look really good to me" he said biting his lips. 

I started smiling a little bit, but I had to fix my face really quick and said "I know I look good I don't need a stranger telling me how I look" I said rolling my eyes again.

Then I started jogging again and I heard somebody yelling out.

"SO, I CAN'T GET YOUR NAME?" He yelled at me. 

I stopped and turned back "NO BUCKO" I yelled back at him laughing on the inside. 

TO be continued