Confessions Of Teenage Hipsters

Andrew VanWyngarden

I hopped in my bedroom window quiet proud of how i didn't make one bit of a sound. I popped my collar looking into the distance, the collar pulling cool guy kind of vibe. Because I'm cool. That's why i do the shirt collar popping if that's what its called.

Just as i was enjoying and appreciating of how cool i am, I was interrupted.

"Where have you been, Sweetheart?"

I looked to my right to see my mom sitting on my bed, "Woah, mom. Heh. I was just walkin around the street when i woke up then i thought it would be Cool if i use the window to get...in." I paused for a moment to catch my breath because i haven't noticed that i was speaking too fast.

"Ya' Know what i'm sayin'?" I finished by giving it a little humor but by the look she's giving me seems like she was unamused.

"Well, son. You could've just used the main door." She deadpanned which made me really nervous. Ahh shit. What am i gonna do?! I'm dumb when it comes to made-up reasons or some shit like that.

"But using the main door is too basic." I whined.

She sighed, "How long have you been here in my bedroom, ma?" I asked as i took a sit on my computer chair.
"It
"doesn't matter." She looked around my room then turned her gaze back to me, "I just hope you're being honest with me right now, drew." She calmed her strict tone,
"I am." I lied.

"Alright." She stood up from my bed, "And Andrew? Please clean your room it smells like boy funk in here it's ghastly." She stated scrunching her nose. "Boy funk?" I asked not being familiar with the word. I guess it's a girl word idk.

"Just clean your room,Child!" She hissed then left the room.

❌

I was walking down the school corridors passing by hot babes leaning on lockers with a cigar on my hand.
"Ayyyeeeee wassup, drew. How you feelin mah home skillet?"
Cormac swung his arm and rest it on my shoulder, he smelled like smoke, He always did. "Still not joining, cormac." I removed his arm off of my shoulder and proceeded to what i was doing; walking to my art class... I love art.

Cormac was tailing, "C'mon Andrew! You're not gonna hang out with those hipster losers forever are you?" I ignored him and turned to the left hallway, thankfully he wasn't following me anymore.
Right so...art class.

I walked in the class and scanned the back of the room to see if theres any vacant seat at the back row. Luckily kevin was present and he saved me a seat.

I walked over to the chair where kevin was resting his hairy legs wrapped in tight skninnies and stood there for him to notice me. Once he turned his head to my direction he lazily slid his legs off of the chair, "Thanks, mate." I appreciate his kindness Sometimes.

"Yeah, whatever"

"So was your mom awake when you got home?" He asked out of nowhere, "Dood she was at my room tf?"
"Tf" he replied then our stats prof. came in the room.

"Hello Children!"

Jeez i hate how he's so jolly on a tuesday morning. He placed his briefcase on the teacher's table and continued on with the lesson.

The old man was telling something about shading.

I was listening and trying to keep up while shoving all of these tips and ways how to do shading like a pro on the board in my brain but i was starting to feel dizzy and- I don't know- i was just starting to feel funny.