Untainted

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Time refused to work with me. The days leading up to Monday dragged on ridiculously slow, even after I spent most of Sunday night awake to finalize my curriculum plan, but the minute I went to sleep, it's as if I just managed to put my head on the pillow before my alarm went off. Unbothered by the morning or the will to take transit, I swiped my keys off the table and took my time driving to work, stopping on the way to grab coffee. The university was about a half hour away from my house on transit and 15 if I drove. Regardless, I still had to be there earlier than usual to set up my class for the day and year.

As I laid down the last few table sheets for the semester's curriculum, the familiar chimes of the bell drew students through the doors in waves. Making my way back to my desk, I watch as everyone files in and finds a seat, sitting with their friends or talking with their new neighbors. Somehow, the bleak beige walls, the yellowing strip lights and the tunnels of chairs filled these people with excitement. Giving them a few minutes to settle in and adjust, I finally stand up and speak.

"Alright! Listen up!" I call, the room settling down. With all eyes on me, I continue. "My name is Damien Matthews. That's Mr. Matthews to all of you though. There's not many familiar faces in this room, but I'm sure everyone's heard of me at one point or another." Call my ego inflated, I knew it was true.

"Welcome to Advanced Psychology. I have a few rules, but we'll get to those in a bit. If you grab the paper on your table, you'll see the outline for this semester. Each unit will only last three weeks; we have a lot to cover and not a lot of time, so, lets all take a moment to pull up our big kid pants and put on our focus caps." The room fills with chuckles and snickers.

"With that out of the way, lets make a few things clear.. Where you sit now is where you will sit for the rest of this semester; we're not playing musical chairs, this is university, not kindergarten.. Secondly, I'm available for extra help on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6 to 9 pm starting next week. If you need the help, I strongly advise you take advantage of that." I take a sip of coffee before continuing. Turning to the whiteboard, I write as I speak

"Your grades will be determined by four things. Understanding, participation, tests and homework-" The door creaking open stops my speech. First day and I already have late students. Wonderful. Not looking back, I speak as I write.

"You're late."

"I- Sorry, the bus was-" Their voice was hardly loud enough to hear, but the walls echoed and carried it down to my ears.

"I didn't ask for an excuse. Find a seat." I could hear a few snickers as someone's shoes echoed through the room.

Turning around as I finish writing, I realize the late student was none other than Lucien. Swallowing the urge to pause, I clear my throat and continue.

"Like I was saying, your grades are determined by four things. Your understanding, your participation, your test results and your homework.. Now, ladies and gentlemen, let me make this clear. All marks are final. The moment they are put into the system, I will not change them. If you don't want a low mark, put in the effort. I'm not here for the excuses or stories, I'm here to teach. Any questions?"

A few hands raised and I spent some time answering questions and explaining expectations for the year as I kept Lucien in the corner of my eye. When nobody had any more questions to ask, I got straight to work, teaching the brief lecture I had planned for today. My darling punk found himself seated at the front of the class, hard at work writing down everything he heard. As the clock inched closer to the end, I grew mournful of the fact that I wouldn't see him until later today. His eyes glistened with determination and curiosity, tracking me through the room. His sheer focus and concentration only fueled my desire to break him. When the bell finally chimed, I dismissed everyone as I walked back to my desk.

"That ends the class for today. I'll see you all tomorrow." While everyone began to file out, Lucien stayed behind, taking extra time to finish what he was writing before packing his bag.

"You've been late to one class today, I don't think its in your best interest to be late to another.. Mr..?"

"I know." He mumbles. "I have a spare so I don't need to rush."

"I however have another class coming." I tell him. I can't play favorites here. Not now, not yet. It's too soon.

"I'm sorry.. I- I wont take up much more of your time.. I just- I need you to sign this.." Grabbing his bag, he walks towards my desk mumbling the last part so quietly that I'm shocked I even heard him. I hate mumbling.

"Speak up."

"S-sorry sir.. I need you to sign this.. Please.." Gods, give me strength if he so much as chooses to call me sir again. He slides a paper onto my desk. It's a tablesheet from his probation officer. He wasn't the first student on probation I've had, however he was the only one with such high marks and potential. I'd have to sign these forms for the next three months every day to prove he was here. My eyes pause on his name, pretending to read it over before signing the form.

"Here you go.. Lucien." I give him the paper with a tight smile. "Lets try to be on time next class."

"Yes sir, sorry sir, it's just that the bus broke down and I couldn't get here any quick-" I hold my hand up.

"I'm here to teach." I tell him, motioning to the group of students beginning to file in. "Not to hear excuses or stories."

My heart pangs as his nervous smile drops and he gives me a quiet nod before he heads towards the doors, but I couldn't stand looking into his eyes any longer. Not with the way he looked at with me and not with how he spoke. I'd lose what little control I had left.

Sighing, I drop my face into my hands while everyone files in, chatter flooding the room. Waiting a few minutes, I take another sip of my coffee and repeat the entire process i just finished once again.