Drowning in Memoires

Drowning in Memories

REGULUS:

Regulus Black knows he's about to die. It's inevitable. It's going to happen. He's sitting on an island, alone. He told Kreacher to leave him with the locket and of course, the house-elf obeyed. There's poison in Regulus's system. He drank it and he's shaking from it. Before he left, Kreacher had given him water. His mind is clear from poison, leaving him to his own thoughts. Regulus's mind is a prison. It trapped him inside of himself, unable to get free. But for once, it was calm. Although the thought of death still made his heart jump with fear, he also felt a wave of numbness that followed. Ever since Sirius had left number 12, Grimmauld Place, Regulus had been forced to change. Now he was the heir of the Blacks. He's taken the Mark. He'd killed and tortured innocent people. He'd broken up with James. James. Even the thought of his love made his heart stab with pain and guilt.

"James," he whispered into the cold darkness. "If you can hear me, I'm sorry. I made a lot of mistakes. But you were never one of them."

The hollow feeling in his chest was crying out in pain but he pushed forward, continuing his message. 

"I love you. I always have and I always will. You mean the world to me."

He shut his eyes and sighed, hearing the sound of Infiri becoming closer and closer.

"I miss you. And I love you. This is for you. Goodbye, James."

As he finished his sentence, an icy cold hand grabbed him around the ankle. Regulus's heart was so numb that he didn't respond. He simply allowed the hands to grab him and pull himself into the water. It was chillingly cold, sending pins and needles of freezing pain along his body but he still didn't fight. He didn't have anything to fight for any longer. Sirius had his love, Remus and his best friend, James. And James had his love, Lily, their baby, and Sirius. He didn't need Regulus. Nobody did.

Regulus's head fell under the water and he made no effort to take a breath. Time seemed to tick slowly and he shivered and winced as claws scratched his skin and his lungs burned. He let out all the air from his mouth and waited for death. Although his mind had given up, his body was fighting. It was screaming for air and from the pain but it was too weak. Regulus had suffered too much; had gone through too much. At least now he had a noble death, not that anybody would know. Not that anybody cared enough to know. Not James, not Sirius, not his parents. Finally his body gave up and he breathed in, water filling his lungs. It was like fire, burning acid that tore down his body. Still, he didn't fight it. He could take the pain. He was used to it. Black circles began to rim around Regulus's eyes and he blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

"Goodbye James. I'm sorry."

Four times.

The heartbeat in his ears faded.
   
Five times.

His body finally gave in, going limp.

Six tim-
   

SIRIUS:

Sirius got the news from the paper. He couldn't believe it at first. But there was nothing he could do to bring back his brother. He screamed and cried while Remus held him. When he finally finished he could only say one thing.

"I should've saved him. But I couldn't. I didn't."

REMUS:

Remus knew Regulus. He cared for Regulus deeply. He saw how James and Sirius loved him so much. And that was all he needed to love Regulus. When Sirius screamed, it broke his own heart. There were no words for the pain. When his love's heart broke, so did his. But his heart wasn't just broken. It was shattered to pieces, destroyed and crushed. And so was Remus's.

JAMES:
Remus told him the news via a patronus. He doesn't know much after that. He vaguely remembers hearing a faraway, heartbreaking scream that could've been his own. Lily came running to him as he shook. Somehow he was on his knees, his face wet with tears. His hands were shaking uncontrollably. He grabbed Lily's hand on his own and gripped it, unable to breath. It can't be. Not his Reg. Even after he married Lily, he couldn't get his ex-boyfriend out of his mind. Lily knew this about him but she'd accepted it because of love.. She held his hand and rubbed his back as he puked up everything in his stomach, again and again, sick with grief.

James Potter had a need to save everybody. But he couldn't save Regulus. Nobody could. Better yet, nobody did. Nobody even tried.

REGULUS:

He doesn't know how long it's been. It feels like eternity. He's been trapped under this water, freezing cold. It's like swimming through ice that never lets up. Regulus has gone numb long ago. He knows nothing. He feels nothing. But one day it all changed. Because James, his James walked into the cave. Regulus could just see him. His James fed the agonizing potion to, was that- Headmaster Dumbledore? He swam closer to the island and finally James stepped to the edge, close enough for Regulus. He was so cold. Bone- achingly, frigidly, ice-cold. Shivering, unable to get rid of the chill that covered him. James was the sun. James would come and make it all better, get rid of the cold with his warmth. But when he grabs James's ankle to let him know he was here, James kicks him away. For a moment, Regulus stares. James kicked him away. Then, with no further reaction, Regulus begins to fall. James pushed him away. James didn't want him anymore. So he fell, given up on life.
Forever.

James.

James.

James.

He was gone.

And so was Regulus.

Death was such a funny thing.

You live and then you die.

Nobody can stop it.

Life and death are a cycle that not even the Dark Lord can stop.

Everybody lived.

Everybody died.

The difference is what you do with the life you're given.

Be bad and turn good, like Sirius.

Be good and turn bad, like Dumbledore.

Stay good like James.

Or stay evil like Regulus.

Life.

Death.

An infinite cycle that never ended.

It went on.

And on.

And on.

Forever.

Without Regulus, this time.