Birthday | Taegyu ✔️

Birthday

Beomgyu's afraid of his own birthdays. Birthdays make him sad, like how he is right now, sitting alone with his legs folded on the chair at 12.06am and tears streaming down his cheeks.

It's his birthday, but he's not happy. Because 6 minutes had passed and no one had wished him happy birthday yet. Biting down on his lower lip, he stares blankly down at his device, waiting for a happy birthday message. But there was none. His notifications bar stays clean and Beomgyu can't help but let more of his tears fall. You may call him dramatic for crying because no one wished him happy birthday when only 6 minutes had passed but Beomgyu knows better. And he's anxious about it. Because this just means no one will wish him happy birthday for the next hour or so. It always happens. People forget his birthday so easily, friends or not. Even his family forgets his birthday. However, Beomgyu doesn't really want to blame them since they live apart. But it still hurts Beomgyu.

Birthdays make Beomgyu sad. They make him overthink. Beomgyu knows he's nice to everyone and everyone knows it too. Yet, why is no one wishing him a simple happy birthday? Beomgyu does many favours for others, especially his friends. He showers everyone with emotional and materialistic love without expecting much back. All he wants is a birthday wish at 12am. But he doesn't get it. Why? Is it because he had lied so much? Or how he teased others too much? Or he's not likeable enough? Did he do something wrong? Is he that undeserving of a birthday wish at 12am? It makes Beomgyu cry just thinking about it. He thinks he's being a hypocrite; always acting like many things don't matter, like how he always tells others that he doesn't mind the mean or offensive comments he gets from people, or how he's fine if he doesn't celebrate his birthdays, which he is actually not fine with at all. Beomgyu's just a big fat liar. He wants to experience a big birthday party like the others. He wants many people to wish him a happy birthday and shower him with gifts. But he gets none this birthday as well. And he's turning 18. He's becoming an adult! Such an important birthday and yet no one seems to remember.

Beomgyu doesn't want to be a hypocrite, a liar, or an attention seeker, but he can't help feeling pathetic for wanting a birthday wish at 12am and crying for it. And this just makes him cry even more. It's 12.36am now and there's still not a single message.

He's a silent crier. Really. He tends to hold his voice in and just lets his tears fall. He doesn't inhale through his nose, to prevent producing any sounds. He uses tissues to wipe his flowing snot away as he continues to silently cry.

Beomgyu has many friends, online friends and in real life friends. On his birthdays when no one wishes him, Beomgyu wonders if he's not important to them, or that they don't really consider him as a close friend. Which just makes him even more blue.

Hugging his knees close to his chest, Beomgyu holds onto the hope that someone will wish him a happy birthday before 1am.

And it doesn't happen. So he decides to wait until 2am instead. Surely someone must have remembered right? Surely someone will wish him by then.

So Beomgyu waits patiently... Or not so patiently as tears continue to flow down his cheeks. Should he post something to make others notice him? Or inform his friends that it's actually his birthday? Beomgyu becomes restless as he thinks. No no. He doesn't want to seem like an attention seeker. He doesn't want to be that pathetic just yet.

Just then, a message notification finally pops up and Beomgyu's tears immediately stopped. He picks up his phone in one swift motion with a small smile on his face, looking forward to a happy birthday message... Only to receive a random message from a stranger within a server he's in, commenting about how his profile is so neat and pleasing to the eyes. Beomgyu's smile dropped instantly and tears quickly start to form again as he replies with a thank you and three exclamation marks to express his gratitude and happiness to receive such a message. And no. He's not entirely happy about it as you can see. He's disappointed that it's not a birthday text and he's contemplating if he should tell this stranger that it's his birthday and maybe the stranger could wish him. But that's just pathetic and dumb. Because the stranger wouldn't mean it.