hold on to me ▹ mgc

chapter one

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "Yeah, sure. Whatever Michael, go tell that to your little whores"

I rolled my eyes as I try to explain to Rina for the 8th time that I did not sleep with Bailey at Calum's party last night; which was in fact true but of course I wasn't just going to tell her straight out that I cheated on her with her best friend. I mean that's not something you blurt out, plus it's like 5:30 in the morning and I don't function properly at this time anyway. Why the hell did Rina choose to come at 5:30 in the morning? Why not 11?

Rina and I had been pretty much on and off since Sophomore year, 2 years in fact. Why haven't I broken up with her you ask? I honestly don't know. Maybe cause the sex was great, no, it defiantly wasn't the sex. That was pretty terrible. She was just supposed to be a fling, that was all, I don't know how the fuck we ended up here. But here she is, contemplating wether or not she should go home, eat a shitload, and cry about why I don't show her enough "affection" or "attention" or have sex with me for the 10th time this week and pretend we never even argued in the first place.

She was a decent girl. Great body, ass, long blonde hair. But her personality was a 4 on a 10 scale basis but I mean it's not like I cared.

"I mean do you even love me anymore?! When was the last time you told me you love me?", she screamed throwing her hands in the air.

I shrugged, "I don't know, 4 days ago?". I didn't really care at all when the last time was that I told her I loved her. I don't, so that's the reason I try to say it as little as possible. I don't even see the reason in love. Love was supposed to build you up and bring you down just as low. It's your friend but secretly your enemy as well. It's a silent tragedy waiting to happen.

People are always saying love is a good thing but I've never really seen the whole point in why people have to get hurt in the process or why some people get hurt and then try to win the others love again only to be rejected even worse and say to themselves that they will never love again. Only to love someone else weeks later. That's the thing, you've never felt love so how exactly are you suppose to know that you're in love with a person? Its confusing as fuck and stupid to feel like it's the end of the world when they hurt you. It's like some sick disease with no cure. What was the good in that? I never understood what good "love" could bring into someone's life. So that's why I chose to stay far away from it so I'd never have to experience any of that crap. I looked at Rina and saw her mouth moving, I was too unfocused to hear exactly what she was saying. But all I heard was "we're through" followed by my front door almost slamming me in my face. I breathed in deeply, it felt as if I could finally breath without hesitation of screwing something up. Well, I guess it's done.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs behind me, followed by a pair of hands clapping. I turned to my roommate Luke as he grinned.

"What?"

"You and Rina broke up huh?"

"Yeah. Thank god, she was getting kind of annoying"

"Says the boy who was with her for two years"

"I only did it because I felt bad for the girl, okay?"

"Michael Clifford? Has emotions? That's hard to believe"

"I didn't want to hurt her, she was already having a hard time with her family, then her brother passing away..."

"But you still didn't love her"

"I've never loved anyone, I don't see the point in it anyway"

He patted my back and sighed quietly. "Love is probably the greatest thing that could happen to anyone. But it could also be the worst. It's just part of life, you have to make the best out of it. If it hurts when you lose them, then that means they're something worthy of all you have to offer"

"So does that mean when I take the last slice of pizza and you try to break my hand that means you actually love me?"

He laughed and nodded, "Yes, that's exactly what it means"

I let out a low chuckle and walked back to my room, "Still don't see the point in it" I said, then closed the door.

I walked over to my speaker and looked through my collection of CD's. I decided on Selfish Machines by Pierce The Veil and inserted it. I flipped through the songs and settled on Caraphernelia. I layed in bed and slowly closed my eyes letting my thoughts get lost in the music.