The Other Side [Percico]

Chapter 3 - I Kissed A Boy (And I Liked It)

TRIGGER WARNING

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Nico, astonishingly, sits with you at the Poseidon table and tries bully you into eating, but you don't feel hungry and you only end up consuming a tiny bit of your pancakes. You can tell Nico isn't happy about it, but he doesn't push you too much. You're grateful for that.

Everyone keeps sneaking wary glances at you, like they're all wondering if you'll just start crying or something. You can tell they're wondering about the hoodie, too. That makes you nervous. You're itching to get back to your cabin.

Piper and Jason come up to say hi. You return the greeting but don't build on it, and eventually they leave you and Nico alone.

You recall the strange events of that morning - Nico had actually hugged you, and you hadn't felt awkward or anything. You'd felt safe. You've a rocky history with the kid; there was the whole Bianca thing, and once he'd led you straight into a trap. You maybe haven't treated him that well in the past, and you weren't sure you had the right to consider him a friend. Recent events had you rethinking that assumption.

After breakfast you manage to slip away from Nico and head back to your cabin. You sit on your bed and take off the bandages in a rush. The cuts are already starting to scar over. You stare at your wrists, having an internal argument:

You: Let's do it again!

You: What? No way, man!

You: DO IT!!! You know you want to, come on, the knife is sitting right there...

You: Nononononononononononononononononono...

You: ...do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it...

You: ...NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO...

You: ...DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT...

You: But -

You: DO. IT.

And so you do. You've got three fresh cuts on each wrist by the time you're done.

Annabeth's disapproving face keeps popping into your head. You've failed her again. Given in to temptation. Are you really this weak?

Weak weak weak weak weak weak...

You fall back on your bed, not bothering to bandage your wrists. Squeezing your eyes shut. Revelling in the sharp, stinging sensation traveling up your arms. Drinking it in. Letting it dispel those horrible voices.

Then, suddenly, there's a sharp knock on your door, and you sit bolt upright, panicking. It's probably Nico. You haven't bandaged your wrists. They're bleeding everywhere. You can't just pull down your sleeves because you'll still be able to see the blood and anyway they're rolled up and how do you roll down sleeves again -

The door opens and Nico steps in.

His eyes fall on the little pocket knife, which is still laying open on the bed. Too late, you realize you haven't wiped the blood off it.

Then he sees your wrists, which you're trying and failing to conceal. He draws a sharp breath.

"Percy," Nico says reproachfully, crossing over and sitting down beside you. He takes your arms and examines the cuts, a dismayed expression on his pale face. Even though you've only been doing it since last night, you have to admit your wrists look pretty bad.

You yank them away from Nico, feeling heat spread across your cheeks.

"Percy," Nico says again.