The Lover Of My Soul

Isaac Sarracino

Hate Without Reason

"ALL I WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO LOVE ME BUT YOU NEVER DID, YOU N-NE-NEVER DID" he sobbed like never before. He remembers the very looks on his parents faces. Isaac had always been quite outspoken about his feelings, but when it came to his parents he learnt to remain silent as he seemed to be a 'burden' to them. Multiple times he planned on running away to live with his aunt, but he didn't want her informing his parents about it, so he stayed and endured the neglect from his parents. He cried himself to sleep on a daily basis as he compared his life to his fellow classmates. Seeing his friends have a great relationship with their parents, broke Isaac as he knew that he could only dream about having such experience in his life. As a few years passed by, neglect became second nature to Isaac. He was so used to it, that he didn't find the idea of anything exciting anymore. He always wondered why his parents were treating him the way they did. Am I not good enough? he thought to himself. But every day that passed by, Isaac's parents made sure to remind him, of how much he burdens them. why me? Isaac thought. what have I ever done to deserve this? he continuously asked himself. There was a time, Isaac kept blaming himself for they way his parents treated him. He was genuinely convinced that he was the problem. He came up with every reason possible as to why his parents hated him so much that they neglected him the one thing every child would want to experience. Love. If only Isaac could have felt God's love for him at this point of his life.

Nemesism

He hated himself. He hated himself more than the girl he fell in and out of love with. More than his parents. More than anything he could ever imagine. He couldn't stand the sight of himself, to the extend that he avoided looking in the mirror sometimes...he thought it would lessen the hate...the pain he felt all alone. Being sent out of his home at 17 took a toll on Isaac's being. He became reckless, stubborn, and very much disrespectful towards everyone he met. Until he met Lily. They met at Margot's engagement party. Isaac came as Margot's friend, and Lily was the daughter to Margot's fiancé's brother. And since then, Lily gave him hope. Isaac had finally found someone who understood him. Someone who cared for him. Someone who he could depend on, rely on. Someone he could finally have the courage to love. Or so he thought. He remembers the very conversation that unfolded the truth like it was yesterday. Not only did it break him, it changed him too. Everything he once stopped believing in because of his parents, finally started to make sense with Lily. Why would she? How could she do this to him? She saw his vulnerability and used it against him. Isaac didn't want to hate her. Because there was a time before this very conversation that he fell in love with her. But that love quickly faded, as every word that left her mouth made a deeper whole in his heart. Truth be told. Two years weren't necessarily long to Isaac. But spending two years with someone he thought he loved, and then finding out that it was all a lie...that hurt him more than he'd like to admit. Since then, love became rather a game to him. Something amusing to keep him entertained. And the worse part is that he had became quite good at the game. So he kept playing it, up until now.

Serendipity

Isaac met Zemira through his ex-girlfriend Lily. At the time, Lily and Isaac were inseparable and so were Zemira and Lily. So they decided that they could hangout together in order to spend more time together. Zemira refused at first, as she didn't find the idea of hanging out with her bff's boyfriend convenient nor comfortable. But Lily insisted and wished for them to get along for her sake. So eventually both Isaac and Zemira agreed and conversed more often than usual. Time goes by and Zemira and Lily's friendship slowly crumbles to the ground. And not only that but Isaac's relationship with Lily, lost it's trust, understanding and most especially love. The one thing Isaac longed for more than ever.

Ever since Isaac's break up with Lily, he has spent a lot of time with Zemira in the hospital. Sometimes he asks himself why he's always with Zemira at the hospital. Or why she had to stop him from almost intoxicating himself in the bathroom that day. But he can't help but blame himself for everything that happened. He blames himself for what happened at Lily's party, for what happened at his work, and for ever coming into Zemira's life in the first place. But there's nothing that can convince him to stay away from Zemira, because every moment he spends with her makes him realise that he isn't a bad person at all, and that he is capable of change if he's willing in his heart. But yet he clings unto the idea that she might give up on him one day. That she won't want him around anymore because of all that he has put her through. He's scared that she might turn against him and see him the way everyone had always made him out to be. But, Isaac is yet to understand the kind-hearted person Zemira truly is. He really hopes that one day she can forgive him for everything.

———————————————————————————WRITER'S NOTE 📝: ⤵️

Hate Without Reason - Usually, when someone hates you without cause it can be for the following reasons: You have a quality in you that they have disowned in themselves. They are jealous of your accomplishments, appearance, or kindness. (In Isaac's case, his parents knew that he wouldn't turn out to be a bad person as he grew older, so they kicked him out of the house in hope of him turning into a bad person to everyone he will ever meet. But their plan failed since he met God-sent Zemira Leeyung)

Nemesism - Frustration and aggression directed against oneself.

Serendipity - Finding something good without looking for it.